Wheatley

Yes. Problem?

* Your mom is so fat, she lacks a nutritious diet and doesn't get enough exercise * Your mom is so fat, when she sat on memory foam, it forgot. * Your mom is so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in. * Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!" * Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy. * Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides. * Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in. * Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code. * Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones. * Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side. * Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. * Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise. * Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party. * Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday. * Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck. * Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia. * Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion. * Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona * Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th. * Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips. * Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals. * Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil. * Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and got change. * Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please." * Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued." * Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the **** off. * Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage. * Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand * Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate. * Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair. * Your mom is so fat, when the ***** goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps. * Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!" * Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out. * Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu. * Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog. * Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme. * Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick. * Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a Cereal bowl. * Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain. * Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house. * Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker. * Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!" * Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus. * Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load". * Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?" * Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs. * Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think shes backing up. * Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell. * Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too. * Your mom is so fat, when she walks into a bar the ceiling fan falls down. * Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping. * Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground. * Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her. * Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans. * Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks. * Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains." * Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway. * Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levis 1002s. * Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man. * Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man. * Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her. * Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets. * Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket. * Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller. * Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on. * Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World. * Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower. * Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. * Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip n Slide. * Your mom is so fat, shes still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath. * Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out. * Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through * Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts. * Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him. * Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house. * Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps. * Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family. * Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides. * Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not. * Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her *******. * Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed Scary Movie 1, 2 AND 3. * Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage. * Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek. * Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her. * Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now. * Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. * Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop. * Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions. * Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections. * Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER. * Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book. * Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views. * Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets. * Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. * Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures. * Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it. * Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. * Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts. * Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship. * Your mom is so fat, she was zoned for commercial development. * Your mom is so fat, her nickname is "DAAAMN!" * Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors. * Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it. * Your mom is so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. * Your mom is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend. * Your mom is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon. * Your mom is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self. * Your mom is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins. * Your mom is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. * Your mom is so fat, the only armor she can use in World of Warcraft is of the whale. * Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her. * Your mom is so fat, miners dig for diamonds in her footprints. * Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet. * Your mom is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating variant of Staphlococcus aureus, the doctor gave her five years to live. * Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back. * Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit. * Your mom is so fat, when she went to a concert, she had to buy 1 million tickets just to fit her ass. * Your mom is so fat, you can swim in her belly button. * Your mom is so fat, she absorbs light. * Your mom is so fat, she has to play pool with the planets. * Your mom is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and king sized skittles popped out. * Your mom is so fat, your dad didn't know which roll he was making love to. * Your mom is so fat, she thought the Olympic swimming pool was a puddle. * Your mom is so fat, every move that she makes required planning permission. * Your mom is so fat, when she showers, her feet dont get wet * Your mom is so fat, she broke a branch on her family tree Yo momma's so fat she needs a VCR for a pager Yo Momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs Your mama's so fat that her belly button makes an echo Yo momma's so fat her cerial bowl comes with a lifeguard Yo momma so fat when she walks past window we lose four days of sun light Yo momma's so fat she had to get baptised at sea world Your momma's so fat when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep tryin to get back up again Your mammas so fat and stupid, when it was raining she used the freeway for a slip and slide Yo momma's so fat that when the whales saw her they started singing "we are family" Yo momma is so fat when she goes to a restaurant she has to be greased in and out of the boothes Yo mamma's so fat she was attacked by japenese mlitary, they thought she was godzillas wife. Yo mamma's so fat when she went on school feild trips the school had to raise fund to feed her. Your momma's so fat she makes free willy look like a goldfish Yo mama is so fat when I layed back on her stomach i rolled twce and I was still in the middle Your momma is so fat, she climbed in the Grand Canyon and got stuck. Yo moma's so fat the only time she sees 90210 is on the scale. Yo mamma's so fat they could hold the olympics on her left butt cheek. Yo mamma's so fat she jumped into the lake and the lake replied "I'll wait my turn." Yo mamma's so fat she filled the bath, got in and all the water poured out. Yo mamma's so fat that she became the center of the solar system. Your Momma's so fat that when she jumped, she got stuck in mid-air Yo mamma's so fat when she wore a red shirt all the kids yelled hey kool-aid Yo mamma's so fat that when she sits around the house she sits around the house. Yo mamma's so fat that when she steps on a scale it keeps going and going and going...........and going Yo mama's so fat when she walked past by TV I missed three episodes Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says I want you weight not your phone number Yo mama's so fat that the last time she had sex it was at a crispy creme dount shop. Yo Mama's so fat slap her on the stomach and you can ride the waves Yo Mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it say's I want your weight not your phone number Yo Mama's so fat, she's the reason they invented double doors Yo Mama's so fat she uses I-95 as a slip and slide. Yo Mama's so fat she sat on a rainbow and made skittles Yo Mama's so fat when she wore high heels she struck oil Yo Mama's so fat she needs a lifeguard for her ceareal bowl Yo Mama's so fat it took three years for her to get liposuction Yo Mama's so fat she uses buoys for ear plugs Yo Mama's so fat she killed the dinosaurs Yo Mama's so fat she cant jump to conclusions Yo Mama's so fat she uses windex for face cleaner Yo Mama's so fat her genes dont fit her Yo Mama's so fat she took her chin as carry on Yo Mama's so fat she throws up gravy Yo Mama's so fat she plugged the hole in the ozone layer Yo Mama's so fat it's not funny Yo Mama's so fat she ate the milky way Yo Mama's so fat she has to wear a wide load sign Yo Mama's so fat that while she walking to Wal-Mart, she tripped over K-Mart, and landed on Target. Yo Mama's so fat the army uses her panties for a parachute. Yo Mama's so fat she makes godzilla loox like an action figure Yo Mama's so fat she needs a wide load stiker on her butt Your mamas so fat she cant even float in space Yo momma is so fat she sat on walmart and lowered the prices. Your Momma's so fat she can go on vacation by rolling over. You momma so fat one time she threw up and out came pinnichio Yo mama is so fat when she turns around its her birthday again Yo mamma's so fat when she went to Tokyo everyone said its GODZILA! Yo momma is so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Your momma is so fat the elephant on her shirt is real! Your momma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said 1 person at a time please Your mommas so fat she pooped out an actionfigure. Yo Momma so fat she tripped over Wal-Mart and landed on Target Yo mama so fat that when she walkes she shows up on the rictor scale. Your mama is so fat she steps on a dollar bill and makes change Yo momma so fat when i tryed to walk around her i got lost. Your momma is so fat that when she puts on her red t-shirt she runs through brick walls yellin', "Kool-Aid!" Yo mama so fat when she died and went to heaven lord asked where did my light go??? Your momma is so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck Your momma's so fat , she uses Mexico as a tanning bed. Yo momma's so fat when she sings theres a earthquake your mamma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said to be continued Yo momma's so fat that she makes a sumo wresler look like an arexion. Yo momma's so fat that when it rains she where's a yellow jacket and everyone yells taxi. Yo mamma is so ugly and fat when she went out side the kids said run its a dinosour!!! Yo momma's ass is so big that when she sits down she's three feet taller. Your mama's so fat...that when god said let there be light...she moved!!! Your mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it read the air heads motto "Out Of Control" Yo mumma so fat she got stoped at da airport for havin 200 pounds of crack Yo mama is so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Crage is the door Yo momma is so fat last time she seen 90210 is on the scale Your mommas like a brick she is flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. Your momma is so big when God said let there be light, he asked her to move. Your mom is so fat, when she walks out of the candy store with a red turtle neck on people start yellin "Kool Aid". Your mama so fat she uses the ocean as a bath tub Your mama's so fat when she walked by a construction site they used her as a wrecking ball. Your mama so fat when she sat on the toilet she said A B C D E F G get your fat ass of of me. Yo Momma Soooooooo Fat...... A Car Crashed Into Her And She Said, "Who Threw That Rock?!" Yo mamma so fat that I told her we won the Super Bowl So she walked outside with a spoon. Yo mamas so fat I get lost around here Your mamma is so fat I shot the ***** and lard came out. Your momma is so fat she got in a monster truck and made it a lowrider! Your momma so fat she tried to take a bath but the water jumped out! Your momma is so fat that she went to the bathroom and the toilet got the **** scared out of it Yo mamma so fat when she missed the school bus she yelled "some one catch my twinky"! Yo momma is so fat that your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss he'd have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up! You'r mama's so fat, when she sit's around the house,"she sit's AROUND THE HOUSE"!! Yo Mama's so fat if I put a firecracker up her ass, and it exploded she would be feeding kids in India for years Your momma is so fat she changed the phrase "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"! Yo momma so fat that when I ran around her I got lost! Yo momma so fat..she even carried a spoon to the SUPER BOWL Your momma's so fat, once she jumped in the water, everone ran out yelling, "Tsunami!" Your mommas so fat she plays pool with the planets. Yo momma is so fat she sat down on the bench and her fart went off like a gun shot! Your mammas so fat she sat on the toliet and the toliet said ABCDEFG GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF ME Your mama is so fat her "nickname" is damn Yo mommas so fat she took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said,"we don't do curtains". Your mommas so fat she was wearing a yellow shirt and the kids thought she was a schoolbus Your momma is so fat she had cream coming out her arms becuase she ate to many twinkes Yo momma is just like a big mac...shes big, fat, and $1.69 on wednesdays! Yo mamma is like a big mack, fat, juizy, and only worth a buck. Yo momma is so fat her stretch marks spell out her name , " big *****" Your momma is so fat, I take her panties and I use it as the main sail of my yacht. Yo mamma so fat, she got more rolls then a pastry truck! Yo mamas so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of hotdogs Yo moma is so fat.....fat is a complement!!!!! Yo momma's so fat when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet! Yo momma is so fat the cows try get milk from her Yo momma's so fat she puts mayonaise on asprin. Yo momma's so fat Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph. Yo momma's so fat She could sell shade. Yo your moma so fat,that she had to take her passport photo by satillite. Yo your moma so fat that her belt size is the equater Yo momma's so fat Her blood type is Ragu. Yo momma's so fat When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate. Yo momma's so fat She can't even jump to a conclusion. Your mama's so fat she had to iron her clothes on the 405 freeway!!!!! Your momma is so fat, she uses a toilet brush to clean out her belly button! Yo momma's so fat She can't even fit in the chat room. Yo momma's so fat She put on her lipstick with a paint-roller. Yo momma's so fat All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma" Yo momma's so fat When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton. Yo mamma is so fat she takes showers at carwashes Yo momma is so stupid when she hears thunder she thinks someone is making popcorn Yo Mam's So Fat, She Went To Sizzler and the ***** Got A group Discount Your mommas so fat she has to use hula hoops to hold up her socks Yo mamas so fat after sex she rolles over and smokes a ham Yo mama so fat when she died they didn't use a casket they used a mansion. Yo momma so fat i put a quarter in her mouth and pushed her belly button and milk dudes fill out of her ass Yo mamma's got so many rolls she puts Brumby's out a business Your momas so fat that when she got into an elevator the doors couldn't close!! I think I win, and sorry if i offended anyone.

Exactly I was actually going to post something similar to this when I saw the topic, but no matter.

This Topic happens to be relevant to my interests.

I'm sorry ma'am....shall I rub your feet? And give you some Old Spice for your putrid pits? lawl....

i'm sorry, I was in Sanghelios the other night and apparently you guys don't have Old Spice.

Haha, I swear to god, that man annoys the heck out of me! Everything I watch, as soon as I see his dumb @$$ start talking I instantly turn it off! Seriuously though, everyones scared that Mercy up there is gonna attack us, guys come on, being along side two other prophets and a bunch of retarded migets, talk smelly lizards, scrawny sheild guys, big fat slugs in armor, and bugs is kinda tiring don't you guys think? Jeez just came to Mexico for a farmers tan....

I Ban red death cause he isn't Cyan Death.

I love everyone of the Halo Games. Yes each one is different, yes i've played and beat all of them on Legendary. Each is a Halo game designed by Bungie, each one is a great game. Halo CE was the first on, by default one of the greatest. Halo 2 had great mulitplayer and had a very Epicness feel to it along side a great story. Halo3 was continuing the fight, and adding to that of the Master Chief's and Cortana's role. It was a great game, the Matchmaking, well it wasn't my favorite to be honest. Halo 3:ODST was a great game for pathfinders and people who like games where you have to fight, and find clues to your next objective. And it played a very important role by giving players a chance inside the boots of a Helljumper and his/her squad-mates. Halo:Reach, even with all it's inconsistencies to the novel Fall of Reach, it's a good game. The only thing about the Campaign that is memorable is survivng Lone Wolf Legendary for an Hour in total, even though I was scared that some lizard might get lucky, but thats beside the point. It's MM is good, to me at least. I love the fact that you can BUY armor, i'm at 90% completion right as I type this, and at Legend, close to Mythic. Now, Halo Wars, i've played it. It's got a great story to it, and it ties into the Halo Series and to Halo 4 very well. But i've not beat it yet.... ring around the disc screwed it up. Okay, thats all for now -Dale

lawl, no problem

***I do not take credit for any of this, all credit goes to Bungie over at Bungie.net*** Object labels There are no gametype-specific objects anymore like there was in Halo 3. Instead, we have labels that you can assign to ANY object to make it recognized by the game engine. First, you must select the gametype you want to edit in the forge lobby. The default is "basic editing" which will allow you to view and remove labels from objects, but not add new ones. You set a label on an object in the Advanced tab of the object properties (press X when holding or highlighting and object) Safe/Kill Volumes First, the absolutes: Kill volumes have highest priority. If you enter an immediate kill volume (that is, not the soft kind) then you are dead. If you enter a soft kill volume, then you are "out of bounds." Being out of bounds starts your ten-second countdown for you to get back in bounds. Safe volumes are the opposite. If at least one safe volume is on the map, then you are in trouble if you are not inside at least one of them. If any of the safe volumes are immediate, then you will die as soon as you are not inside a safe volume. If all of the safe volumes are "soft," then you are out of bounds and your timer will count down. Typically you want to make one large soft safe volume over the playable area of your map, and then fill in trouble spots with soft kill volumes. And if you have some kind of falling-to-death area, cover that with an immediate kill volume. Respawn Influencers A red team anti respawn zone will cause red team to never respawn there. All types of respawn influencers only affect the team that owns them (or all teams/players if they belong to neutral). Non-neutral influencers do not affect FFA spawning, except in FFA gametypes with fake teams like Infection and Juggernaut. In Infection, humans are Red Team and zombies are Blue Team. In Juggernaut, the juggernaut is blue team and everyone else is red team. General "team_only" - these objects will not spawn in a FFA game "ffa_only" - these objects will not spawn in a team game Each gametype supplies a label that can be used in conjunction with the "gametype-specific" setting that you can use to make any object only appear in a specific gametype. This label is typically the same as the name of the gametype (e.g. "ctf" or "headhunter"). Generally things you label should also have the "gametype-specific" flag set on them, otherwise they will spawn in other gametypes too! Assault "as_bomb" - REQUIRED - bomb spawns here (team-specific, can be neutral) "as_goal" - REQUIRED - plant bomb here (team-specific, can't be neutral) "as_res_zone" - respawn zone (influencer) which is active when your team's bomb is not planted "as_res_zone_away" - respawn zone (influencer) which is active when your team's bomb is planted Note that you CANNOT plant a bomb on the as_goal object if the team that owns that goal is not active in the game (has at least one player). CTF "ctf_flag_return" - REQUIRED - flag spawn point and return point (team specific) "ctf_res_zone" - respawn zone which is active when your team's flag is at home "ctf_res_zone_away" - respawn zone which is active whne your team's flag is not at home Note that flags will not spawn for teams that are not active in the game (have at least one player). NOTE on respawn zone labels in Assault and CTF - these only work as intended when applied to one of the respawn zone objects. But objects with these labels are always turned invincible and can never be picked up (if they are weapons). NOTE on one-sided Assault and CTF variants - the red team is always on defense in the first round. Headhunter "hh_drop_point" - REQUIRED - a place where you can drop skulls Infection "inf_spawn" - nothing special (we used this to distinguish spawn points that are infection-specific) "inf_haven" - REQUIRED - a safe haven. Note that humans spawn at "red team" spawn points and zombies spawn at "blue team" spawn points. Juggernaut nothing special For purposes of spawning, the juggernaut is blue team and everyone else is red team. King of the Hill "koth_hill" - REQUIRED - the hill! Oddball "oddball_ball" - REQUIRED - a ball spawn point Race "race_spawn" - nothing special "race_flag" - REQUIRED - a race checkpoint. Use the spawn sequence to set what order you have to hit them in. You can have more than one checkpoint with the same spawn sequence, in which case the driver can hit either one to get the checkpoint. "none" - will get deleted Stockpile "stp_flag" - REQUIRED - a flag spawn point "stp_goal" - REQUIRED - a flag drop point (team-specific) Territories "terr_object" - REQUIRED - a territory. Note that the spawn sequence MUST be set to something other than 0. Invasion - VERY long read. The Rules of Invasion Invasion Game Variant Setup **I Hope this helped everyone on their forging skills!** -Dale

Well, let's keep it going guys! I don't mind being popular!

Sounds like some proper feeding to me, not only do those blokes in, wherever, that are hungry get rice, in affect this website gets more traffic and is looked higher upon than just being a Community Forum dedicated to 343i, we also get awards.

I love how this was just an introduction, but it's turned into THIS!

I want everyone to understand that Halo Reach was not a proper Halo game in that it did many things that made no sense to what actually happened in the novel: Fall Of Reach. There is a website with all of these issues pointed out as well as fixes that would make more sense without changing the entire game. For those who wish to learn why Halo Reach was disappointing as a Halo Campaign to many, this post is for you. Ways To Fix Halo Reach Halo: Reach Patch for Canon Continuity William Swartzendruber Revision 3 May 24, 2011 Premise As many are aware, there are a few major conflicts between Halo: Reach and Halo: The Fall of Reach. The purpose of this document is to highlight a way for 343 Industries to correct these issues via a patch. This patch would ideally be small and available automatically via Xbox LIVE. The original game disc would not have to be reissued. It could also be made available as an optional marketplace download. Methodology While every level needs its date stamp changed, most of the levels in the game also need to have certain portions of their dialog removed. The main point is that until the “Exodus” level, very few people would know that Reach is under attack. This is to keep things consistent with the book which has everyone in shock to see the Covenant on August 30th. It should also be noted that time stamps shouldn't be modified due to them not being military calendar. In other words, Bungie Studios may have carefully placed the sun in just the right spot for that time to make sense. Therefore, where possible, only dates should be changed. Breakdown of Proposed Changes Noble Actual (August 27, 07:28) This cinematic requires no changes. Winter Contingency (August 27) This level requires no changes. It doesn’t provide a time and day as is, and doesn’t need to. ONI: Sword Base (August 28, 11:26) This level requires one change. It can be implied that Noble Team spoke to Dr. Halsey in the afternoon of the 28th, which does not conflict with The Fall of Reach.  Remove Kat’s comment to Dr. Halsey about warning the planet of the Covenant’s presence. Nightfall (August 28, 26:30) This level requires no changes. Tip of the Spear (August 29, 08:00) This level requires one change:  Get rid of Dot’s introduction commentary. Long Night of Solace (August 29, 20:07) This level requires the following changes:  Get rid of any discussion regarding an incoming UNSC fleet.  Do not show a date or time for Noble Team landing outside the Saber facility.  Remove Jorge saying, “Is there any place the Covenant isn’t?”  Get rid of Dot telling Jorge (along with his response) that there's nothing he can do to save Dr. Halsey in Sword Base. The reason for this is that she's likely at Castle Base (or somewhere else) preparing for Operation: RED FLAG.  Show a date and time for Jorge's Pelican dropship landing on the corvette: August 30 at 04:45. This is done because after Jorge throws Noble Six out, the Covenant fleet arrives in full force. The game has them exiting slipspace in orbit below the Super MACs, but the book has them exiting on the system's edge for a quick regroup. We need to give them their regroup time before some of them (hypothetically) make an in-system jump into Reach's orbit while others flood in through the planet’s poles (as stated in the books). Exodus (August 30, Morning) This should say “Morning” for a time stamp. The game originally has it take place at 15:34, but that won’t work as the next level must also take place on the 30th. It could also be said that Noble Six doesn’t really know what the exact time is. The following changes should be included:  ODSTs should have Marine Corps ranks only. “SPC” is short for Specialist, which is an Army rank.  Get rid of the statement that the city has been under siege for five days. New Alexandria (August 30, 18:57) This level requires one change:  At the hospital, get rid of anyone saying anything about other Spartan teams. This is because at this time, Red Team is beneath Castle Base with Dr. Halsey. The Package (August 30, 26:16) This level is going to require the most work. Our main issue here is that at the end of the level, we need Dr. Halsey interacting with Noble Team, but First Strike puts her beneath Castle Base.  Completely remove Dr. Halsey's character from the cinematic, along with sound effects of her working the consoles.  Add a remote viewer and have her appear on that instead.  Change Noble Six's animation script so that he physically walks up to Cortana and removes her.  For the outside portion, remove Dr. Haley's character from the cinematic.  Get rid of any talk of escorting Dr. Halsey to Castle Base as she's already there.  Have the second Pelican dropship (the one initially on the left) stay put. The Pillar of Autumn (August 31, 16:52) This level has one required change and one optional change. The reason for the ship’s return to the planet would have to be established elsewhere.  Show Jun in Carter’s Pelican already dead.  Leave the booster engines on the Pillar of Autumn as it leaves. There has been much debate within the community regarding a Halcyon class cruiser being rated for atmosphere. Lone Wolf (August 31, 20:00) This level requires one change:  Get rid of all the dead Spartan bodies. A Loose End Halo 3: ODST also needs one very small patch. Back behind the ONI building is a memorial dedicated to those who died on Reach. It needs to be changed to reflect the new start date. http://haloreach.isnotcanon.net/halo_reach_continuity_patch.pdf Retcons The following is by no means a solid list of retcons. It's simply just some inconsistencies that require some further investigation. We're currently working toward getting a solid list sorted out that properly outlines the changes, inconsistencies, or out of place additions that have been made to the Haloverse as a result of Reach. If you'd like to help us out, contact us or swing by our forum. And yes, we're very aware that some of these things listed have been covered in the Journals or Data Pads and what-have-you. This is just a mock list. The Pillar of Autumn is now in dry-dock instead of engaged in the battle in space. The Pillar of Autumn is now capable of flying in atmosphere; its size has also been significantly reduced. The crystal revealing Installation 04's location, found on Sigma Octanus IV, has been implicitly moved to Reach. The Covenant invasion of Sigma Octanus IV now makes no sense. Cortana has been split in two for unknown purposes... other than to let Noble Team feel important The Covenant invasion of Reach begins much earlier than before; they use new never-before-seen technology to make this work: massive cloaking, and teleportation for example. The Covenant's invasion begins differently; they were able to slip in and set up a massive battalion sized force planetside, completely undetected. Dr. Halsey is supposed to be in the Forerunner caves under CASTLE base. The original story is basically cast aside and repurposed using Noble team and SWORD base; Halsey heads for CASTLE base at the end of the game, but with the artifact already discovered and secured, the events that were previously known to have occured there cannot reasonably take place. Brutes. Drones. Source: http://haloreach.isnotcanon.net/retcons/ The Issue with Noble Six: I would like to begin this article with a quick disclaimer: I believe that Reach is canon. I am a believer in the priority of source, which is just a fancier way of saying "games have priority." This will be explained in a different article. But what I don't believe, however, is that it's perfect. This article is about where I think Reach failed. In narrative art and writing, there is a method to portraying a character: the less detailed that character is (art: the fewer physical details presented; writing: the fewer emotional reactions described), the more the reader can and will project himself/herself onto that character. That's how we come to put ourselves in their shoes, get personally involved in their struggle, and ultimately feel the triumph (or failure) of their mission. Here is where the terms "silent protagonist" and "quiet protagonist" enter the picture for video games, and where Halo is said to thrive. In four out of five Bungie titles for the series, we are given a quiet protagonist: the Master Chief and Noble Six. In ODST, we have the first true silent protagonist: the Rookie. Beyond how well a reader/player can relate to a character, there are established ways of determining how a character operates within a story: dynamic, static, rounded, or flat. If you passed high school English, you probably know most of this already, but let me sum it up in case you've forgotten: dynamic refers to a character who changes over the course of a story; static refers to a character who doesn't have any major change; rounded refers to a character who has depth and multiple emotional angles; flat refers to a character with only one emotional angle and often only serves a single purpose in the story. Obviously there are stigma associated with some of these words, but it's important to remember that each type of character has a place in a story. We need static characters to serve as yardsticks (dare I say waypoints) to judge how much the main character has changed, just like we need flat characters to fill up the background. Too much dynamism will make your plot a tangled mess of characters changing and changing; too much roundness will make your characters too busy and overload the reader/player with information. But where's the one place you don't want those background qualities? In your main character. So how do the qualities translate into a quiet or silent protagonist? The answer: not well. It's hard to portray change in a character who, by definition, must show as few detailing characteristics as possible. Halo: Combat Evolved did pretty well by the Master Chief, and the role of the Rookie in ODST was more to be a Watson character than any major player. So where did Reach go wrong? First of all, Master Chief was alone and spoke more to us through his actions. I remember when he discovered the dead body of Mendoza just prior to the Flood outbreak. He picks up Jenkins's helmet and shakes his head, shoulders heaving ever so slightly. This is not a man merely breathing, he's a soldier who is reflecting on a long history of war and the dead. There are other moments, of course, but those stick out particularly in my mind. Now comes Noble Six. How do we figure out he's a grizzled vet? We don't. It's mentioned that he's a "Lone Wolf" only through the characters, otherwise he seems a perfectly adjusted member of a team. The mistake here comes from Bungie's desire to make that blank canvas but also simultaneously have that canvas be part of a team. The result is less of the confident feeling in the character (from the moment the Master Chief stepped out of that cryo tube we knew he was a badass) but also a lack of confidence in the team around him. Actions really do speak louder than words. If I was to suggest an alternative (though I'm certainly not brash enough), perhaps Bungie should have nixed half the dialogue in the opening cutscene, and when the Zealots show up Six rushes off after them alone. When he returns, Carter berates him despite his victory, and also because Six let the leader get away while hunting down the other two in bloodlust. Later, when Carter covers for Noble Six in front of Halsey (to no avail, because it's Halsey and she's the most intelligent person on the planet), it shows solidarity between him and Six -- the first piece of friendliness Six is shown as part of the team. Another contributing factor is, quite frankly, the inconsistent voice acting. I'm not intimately familiar with how the female Six is, but I've played through several times with the male model. Six has very few lines, so it's important how they're delivered. Yet the tone of voice is wildly different from one line to the next. I couldn't get a read on his character. Which brings us right back to the blank canvas. We're supposed to be able to project whatever personality we want on Six -- presumably our own, but it could be anyone. Yet the delivery of the lines suggests various and often disparate personalities: neutral ("Got it, sir."), gruff ("Found something."), cooperative ("Well, I aim to please."), back to gruff ("That's a one way trip."). By the end he sort of settles into mournful ("Not just me, sir."), but the damage is done. Idiot paragraph: I do appreciate the connection at the end. No matter how poorly, it's established early that Six is a Lone Wolf, probably doesn't care much for the team environment despite not showing it very well. Yet by the conclusion, he's torn up by the loss of his team. So there's no definite personality for us to get lost in thanks to the paradox caused by having a blank canvas team-player, thus we can't get personally involved with the war or the victory. It's a character story where we can't get into the POV. (And make no mistake, it is a character story, but again, that's for another article.) Bungie's mistake was simply trying to follow the same formula for their ever-popular plot story in their character story. As the tag line says: "From the beginning, you know the end." It can't be a plot story because we already know what happens, that Master Chief is the last Spartan at the start of Halo: Combat Evolved. Having a shocking ending wasn't the point, it was being able to lose yourself in the setting (which they accomplished nicely) and in the characters (which was substantially weaker). Maybe we should have been given a strong character, a Spartan character, sure of deed while terse of word. For it, Reach may have been a much stronger game. Source: http://haloreach.isnotcanon.net/noblesixparadox/ How Reach's Story Would've Fit the Canon In case it's unclear to anyone: I love Halo. I love almost every aspect of Halo: Reach. I have no problem with the game's campaign from a gameplay standpoint, as evidenced by how I always keep coming back to play it over and over again. Where the problem lies for me is not the gameplay, pacing, or level design. Or at least that's something I'm not going to discuss here. What I am disappointed with however, is the game's story and the inconsistencies that arise with it. The latter is what I am going to elaborate on, while leaving the former for others. This is not to whine or complain about anything, but to present something that could have been; an opportunity missed, if you will. What baffles me is how most of the inconsistencies in the game are of the avoidable variety; easily solved by a couple of hours' work. The purpose of this post is not to rewrite Reach's story or make the narrative more engaging. Indeed, my intent was to keep the story as intact as possible while removing the most glaring inconsistencies. I'm not going to touch on the problems in the game's narrative, such as disjointed overall story or shallow characters, although some of the changes do lead in minor changes in the some story details. This is to make a point that Bungie could have done with far less retcons while delivering almost the exact same story as we see in the game. Also, the title of this post is not strictly true. It is impossible to perfectly fit all of Reach's story into the canon as presented by The Fall of Reach. Doing that would require us to discard major elements of the game's story and level structure, mainly the presence of the Pillar of Autumn on Reach. In this hypothetical synopsis, I'm going to focus on some of the other major inconsistencies, namely Halsey being where she's not supposed to be and the timeframe the Covenant invasion, particularly its beginning. In addition, while I've been inclined to change some details in the game's narrative, I've kept it as similar to the original as possible for the purposes of this post. The Pillar of Autumn being drydocked is one of those details; it is, by all intents and purposes, impossible to have the Autumn be in space during the final mission without changing the structure and plot of the final level. I've been toying with the idea of a more climactic finale set in space, but as said, I'm going to keep this as close to the game as possible. Some changes to details would be needed, such as the events going on in the background, dialogue changes, etc. but nothing that would seriously impact the game's story itself. Another thing: Most of the the time stamps in my timeline are approximates, and minor changes to them would not matter. I simply picked ones that made the most sense considering the transitions between each level. Also, while the date and time stamps seen in Halo: Reach seem to follow the Reach calendar, those in my timeline follow the basic UNSC military calendar. This is for two things: For the sake of clarity. It's easier to see the events in the context of the story presented in TFoR and FS, and by using the non-local calendar, the time of day is a non-issue, thus allowing us to have similar time of day as in the game regardless of what the time stamp shows. Quite frankly, I'm not sure why the time stamps are even needed in the game at all. The Timeline • August 29, 09:00 hours - Winter Contingency. Everything happens the same way as it does in the game. Now, the presence of Covenant forces of Reach on the day before the invasion conflicts with the book, but the general populace doesn't need to know about it until the invasion itself begins. The Covenant force itself can be significantly smaller than in the game, consisting of only one ship (a stealth corvette we see in the next mission). The UNSC doesn't choose to alert the entire planet just yet, possibly hoping to stop the Covenant in their tracks or simply to gather information on what they are looking for. ONI may be involved in the cover-up. • August 29, 16:00 hours - ONI: Sword Base. A Corvette assaults the base, and it becomes clear that the Covenant are looking for something. Everything in the level itself happens as it does in the game. Here, we might learn from ONI that the Covenant being on Reach should be kept secret until more intel can be gathered due to the Covenant presence relating to top-secret things like artifact hunting. Halsey is seen in the end, but it may be mentioned that she's on her way to CASTLE base, where Red Team meets up with her the next day. • August 29, 00:00 hours - Nightfall. We discover a Covenant encampment set up by the forces from the stealth Corvette we saw in ONI: Sword Base. The invasion force is a lot smaller than what we see in the game, small enough for the cloaking to be somewhat plausible. We might also learn how they managed to get past undetected, perhaps by exiting slipspace far outside the system and traveling to Reach at sublight speeds while in cloak. In fact, it would make more sense to have a briefing sequence in the opening of Nightfall, possibly set in Sword Base, explaining the whole "dark zone" and why isn't the UNSC able to detect the Covenant ground forces. I think the game seriously lacked exposition in this regard. But that's just the narrative-improving stuff I wasn't supposed to be discussing here. • August 30, 09:00 hours - Tip of the Spear. In the opening, we learn that a massive Covenant fleet entered the system some four hours ago and laid waste to the most of the UNSC fleet, something that was elaborated on in the novel. As the players make their way to the Covenant spire - something they observed in Nightfall - it is revealed to be a slipspace navigation beacon that allowed the Covenant ships to make pinpoint jumps below the orbital defenses. By the time of the mission, they have managed to land massive amounts of ground forces to the spot, explaining the large amounts of ground forces in the area. Otherwise, the level's narrative and ending remains unchanged. • August 30, 13:00 hours - The cutscene with Kat planning the op to destroy the super carrier takes place. At this point, most of the UNSC fleet and orbital defenses have been all but obliterated by the Covenant fleet, so the UNSC is indeed short on ordnance capable of destroying a supercarrier. This did not make as much sense in the game, as we had no idea that all of the UNSC's nuke-carrying ships had been destroyed in the first place. • August 30, 17:00 hours - Long Night of Solace begins. The level doesn't require any changes at all. • August 31, 05:00 hours - Exodus begins. The level is largely similar to the one in the game, with minor changes in dialogue, namely "this city's been under siege for the last five days". • August 31, 10:00 hours - New Alexandria takes place. Not a whole lot different, except Noble Team may be evacuated by a dropship in the end instead of going into a bunker, because them being in a bunker for three days is largely trivial to the overall narrative, and them being extracted in the end allows for a smoother transition to the next level. • August 31, 15:00 hours - The Package. The mission happens in the same way, except Halsey isn't physically present because she's in the Forerunner caves under Castle Base at this point. Instead, she appears in holographic recordings, or even live communiques to get her message across to Noble Team. Jun has to be gotten rid of some other way since he can't escort Halsey to Castle Base. Maybe he dies defending the data (which doesn't need to be Cortana or her fragment) or he has to stay behind to detonate the nuke. Still, something like that is a relatively minor detail that can be figured out. • August 31, 20:00 hours - The Pillar of Autumn. Since I'm sticking to the game's level design, the PoA is on the drydock like in the game. However, this has to be explained one way or the other, since in TFoR, the ship had jumped out of the system over a day earlier. Maybe the PoA sustained damage in the battle, preventing it from jumping away, forcing it to land for repairs. Or maybe it set down to receive the data package from Noble Team. Either way, • August 31, 23:00 hours - Lone Wolf. Nothing changed here. So, here we are, left with far less canon inconsistencies than in the game itself. The ones that remain are the following: 1. The Pillar of Autumn being on Reach after 06:47 on August 30th, when it jumps away in TFoR. However, this can be justified by explaining the PoA's first jump wasn't successful and it had to exit immediately after due to slipspace drive/reactor malfunction or something. Not exactly an elegant way to solve it, but it's better than flat out ignoring the issue. 2. The PoA being able to fly in atmosphere. This one is unexplainable, and something we'll just have to cope with if we follow the events in the game. It could, however, be justified by having the tugboat rockets attached up until the ship has broken atmosphere, unlike in the game where they detach right after liftoff. In the end, it all boils down to the question: Why did Bungie make all the changes, when there was no need for anything that drastic? http://haloreach.isnotcanon.net/archilen/ Structure Critique There is a very standard and very successful way to tell stories in visual mediums, which is the standard three act structure. Used in the stage, television, and film, following it provides an excellent framework for telling a story dramatically and presenting a narrative. While straying from it can provide for a unique and memorable narrative experience, doing so poorly can leave the narrative falling flat. This happened to Reach. The idea behind the three act structure is to show the growth of the main character, in a gradual and dramatic way. The acts and plot points are arranged and spaced in such a way that story flows in a constant and dramatic way. The basic three act structure is as follows, using examples from films you may know: Act 1 - Setup The first act's purpose is to set up the characters, and set up the conflict. Status Quo The narrative begins with the main character in the status quo, in order to introduce the character and show him or her as they were before the events of the narrative took place, as well as giving rise to the setting. Later, this gives us the opportunity to show how the events of the narrative change the world and the main character. This portion lasts briefly, because there is no conflict and if it goes on for too long will bore the audience. The Matrix: Neo goes to his normal job Halo: Halo begins with the inciting incident Halo Reach: Noble Team does its thing and investigates a distress beacon. Inciting Incident This is an event that sets the rest of the story into motion - a change in the status quo that the main character needs to react to. between here and the next plot point, things begin to change from the status quo. The Matrix: Morpheus Contacts Neo Halo: The Pillar of Autumn is attacked and forced to crash on Halo. Halo Reach: The Covenant are on Reach! First Plot Point The first plot point is where the main overarching conflict is revealed, and when the main character must make a decision which sets the adventure into motion. This fundamentally alters the status quo, from which point there is no return. The Matrix: Neo takes the red pill and exits the matrix. Halo: The Master Chief learns Halo is a weapon, and decides to secure or use it before the covenant can. Halo Reach: There is none! Act 2- Conflict Act 2 is meant to bring the main conflict of the narrative to light, and show how the character grows in order to overcome it. The character will face obstacles that prevent him or her from resolving the conflict, and typically will have moments of despair where all seems lost. First Culmination The first culmination is typically halfway through the second act, in which it seems as if the main character has accomplished his or her goal, only to be dealt a blow causing everything to fall apart, sending the conflict in a new direction. The Matrix: The oracle tells Neo he isn't the one, and Morpheus is kidnapped. Halo: The Master Chief succeeds in finding the control room, but learns that the flood have been released! Halo Reach: There is none! Black Moment Black moments are meant to show the character at their weakest, in a position when they begin to doubt themselves. This will take place between the first culmination and the second plot point. He or she must overcome this to continue on. The Matrix: Neo believes he is not the One, and that Morpheus will have died for nothing. Halo: There are none! Halo Reach: There are none! Second Plot point Just like the first plot point, the second plot point results from the decision of the main character to carry on the struggle and overcome the new challenges presented in the second act, which will eventually lead to the climax. The Matrix: Neo decides to re-enter the matrix to save Morpheus Halo: The Master Chief decides to blow up Halo to destroy the flood. Halo Reach: Possibly where Halsey has the Spartans take Cortana and deliver her to the PoA. Act 3 - Conclusion The third act brings about the climax, and eventually has the character come to a realization that enables him or her to overcome the obstacles! Climax The climax is the buildup to where the character finally overcomes the obstacle. The Matrix: Neo realizes he is the one after all, and uses this to save morpheus and destroy agent Smith. Halo: The Master Chief fights his way to the PoA, then blows it up destroying the ring. Halo Reach: Noble Six fights his way to the PoA and delivers Cortana to Captain Keyes. Denouement The Denouement is almost the opposite of the status quo, where because of the actions of the main character, the world now settles into a new status quo. This is where we see how the film has affected the characters. The Matrix: Neo assumes the role of the One Halo: The Chief and Cortana drift through space and realize the conflict is just beginning Halo Reach: The inevitability of death reaches Noble 6. Analysis The Matrix is a strong film and follows the three act structure to great effect. We see each element being used, and in doing so we show the journey of Neo from software programmer to the One who will free humanity. Halo likewise follows this structure well, but suffers slightly from not having a strong main character. Through the events, we see how the conflict and world around the Mater Chief change, but we do not get a sense that the events changed him or that he was instrumental in bringing about that change. The plot points are meant to be triumphs for the main character, and in The Matrix they are Neo's decisions. In Halo however, they are not, as the Mater Chief is ordered each step of the way by Cortana. This is okay, but it does not personalize the conflict. In contrast, much like ODST, Reach gives us the inciting incident, then stagnates, eventually skipping into the the third act. After the Covenant invade Reach, Noble Six and the team engage in a series of missions which do not bring about a change in the plot. In place of the second half of the first act and the second act, we get a series of tasks which serve no purpose in building the conflict, or the character Noble Six. The lack of a first plot point makes the story feel very weak. Instead of having the main character make a choice that jumpstarts the conflict, Reach has Noble 6 decide nothing, except to follow the rest of his team on pointless missions. It would be like if Morpheus had Neo fetch him items or programs from inside the matrix before telling him at the end of the film that he's the One. Likewise, there can be no first culmination, because nobody in Reach decided to do anything (which they would have, had there been a first plot point). You could argue that the decision to take out the carrier qualifies, but it's not a decision by our main character. This would have been stronger in reach if it was Noble Six's idea to use the Sabers to deliver the slipspace drive. Then, Hor-Hey's death and the resulting failure of the plan to halt the invasion would have made an excellent segue into the middle of the second act, as Noble Six would be filled with thoughts of failure, and loss because of his actions. As it is now, he's probably thinking, "****, Kat's plan didn't work. whoops". The second plot point, if you can even call it that, comes when Noble Team is summoned and given the mission to deliver Cortana. This is very weak because they are just doing what they are told. If, upon failing to stop the invasion by blowing up the carrier, Noble Six would have remembered Halsey mentioning a latchkey discovery, and convinced the team to go back to sword base to acquire it and keep it safe, that would have been much stronger. The action would have been motivated, rather than it is now as just arbitrary. "We're being re-deployed to sword base!" This is not a great way to advance the plot - by having events just happen out of the blue. The idea of the little voice in your head, or the main character being ordered to do something is a very weak way to present plot points. If the main character is juts following orders, there is no significance to his or her actions. However if it is their decision, then now the weight of the outcome affects them. Furthermore, Noble Six never grows as a character. How the main character is changed by overcoming the obstacles is an important reason we watch dramatic narratives! The three act structure sets this up very well, by forcing the character to fail, they are also forced to change. I would advise Bungie to do the following in their next game: Stick with the three act structure. Give us a strong main character. Have the plotpoints be brought about by the choice of the main character. Have the overarching narrative show the growth of the main character. Spoiler Alright, let's be clear up front. Reach is a fun game. It has solid gameplay and is fairly challenging, even for the steeliest of Halo veterans out there. But many have claimed that the game's story was "unmemorable." Expressing why this is the case can be quite difficult. But just for kicks, let's give it a go, shall we? Like ODST, Reach has many missions where "nothing actually happens." In typical video game fashion, you spend a lot of time running around doing mostly arbitrary tasks that are explained in some contrived manner. I mean, did you really need to wander around the hub world piecing together the events for the past few hours when Dare simply hails you to get the party started? Or did I really need to turn on this comms array, or shut down that shield generator, when all I end up doing is delivering a package? In the grand scheme of things, not really, right? Well, not exactly. With ODST and Reach, Bungie has time and again expounded their aim to "bring the player closer to the ground." After the glorious galactic romp that is the Halo trilogy, it seems Bungie's writing staff decided to try their hand at a narrower scope. The idea was to jump feet first into hell... to get down and dirty and to see the war from the perspective of the thousands who fought and died. After all, not everyone is a stoic hero with his finger on the latchkey. But with a narrow scope comes great responsibility: whatever you narrow your focus on better be damned interesting. Event Horizon Like any good video game with a story, the majority of levels in the Halo trilogy move the plot forward in some way. Whereas the original Halo advanced a series of large scale events that flowed together, Reach presented a series of smaller events that, in the end, seemed utterly disjointed or insignificant. If we condense both stories down to the bare essentials, this becomes readily apparent: Halo We come across mysterious ancient ring world. We crash land and our captain is captured. We rescue our captain and discover that the ringworld is a weapon We split up, our captain to search one area, and we search another... We find the controls to the weapon and find out our captain is in grave danger Holy crap there's an unforeseen menace down here... and hey, what happened to our captain... We make a new friend and he helps us kick start this weapon into overdriv--oh ****, doublecross! It was gonna kill us all We stymie our new foe and devise a new plan: We blow the damned thing up! As you can see, there's clear flow from the top down; the events before directly influence the events that come. Throw in the occasional twist, and you've got yourself an interesting series of events. Reach There's a downed comms array, we need to check what's up. Oh crap, it's down because the Covenant are on Reach A lot of military handwaving occurs to find out that: There's a big cruiser here, I guess we should take it out... We take it out, but holy crap here comes more! ...well now I'm separated from my group, let me help some civilians, I guess *beep beep* The Doctor will see you now. She's got a mission for you: Deliver a package that can turn the tide of the war You deliver the package and die When it comes down to it, not a whole lot happens in any coherent manner. There's a big cruiser, you take it out, then you help some civilians, and, unrelated to all of that, you finally do something significant to Halo's overall story arc. But of course, that's not the point right? This game isn't supposed to advance or enrich the overall Halo story arc right? No, instead, we're supposed to enjoy this presentation of a planet's fall... a planet whose fall gives rise to our original hero's galactic space opera. We're supposed to feel engaged in the atmosphere and feel connected to the characters. We're supposed to feel as though turning on that AA gun was part of a greater concerted effort to keep the planet from falling... even if it was just some AA gun. So Bungie narrowed the scope and decided to focus on developing this atmosphere. Honestly, why they couldn't do this in addition to telling a coherent and compelling story whose events logically follow one another is beyond me. It really was a bit of a cop-out to have Halsey suddenly page you toward the end for a secret mission. Isn't that really familiar? In spite of the largely insignificant story it tells, Reach is supposed to make me feel like I'm part of a band of SPARTAN-IIIs who are doing their best to stave off the annihilation of a world. I can dig that, I guess. It's not the buffet of glorious Halo intrigue that I'm used to, but it's colourful at least, right? The question is... does it even do this well? Honestly, I'd say it's hit and miss. Team Spirit I've made a bit of a realization about the Halo trilogy with the new perspective these two latest games provide: Without the grand scale and widely varying locales, without the constant flow of interesting events, without the room for wild speculation, mystery and intrigue, and without the feeling that the universe rests on my shoulders... the characters of Halo... well, they'd fall flat. Let's take the Arbiter for example. How do I know that the Arbiter is a proud Elite warrior? Why do I feel a sense of respect for him toward the end of the series? Why did I enjoy fighting alongside (or as) this beast who was once my enemy? Do I know he's a skilled warrior because someone told me they read his dossier that's riddled with black ink? Is it because he spouts phrases you would expect of a proud warrior? Or is it because we see him fall from the highest ranks of the Covenant armada, get utterly betrayed by his former leader, and rise up and inspire his people to revolt? Take a guess. Few things say brother-in-arms like that moment where the Chief and Arbiter stand back-to-back in the Ark's control room. The strength of this scene is not simply a result of that badass pose they strike, but rather due to all the **** the two of you have gone through. From his defeat at Halo, through his fall from grace, through his realization that the great journey was a lie, to the ensuing revolution he begins, I got a firm sense that the Arbiter was more than just a gun at my side. Really. Here's the kicker: Character development is most often a direct result of the trials and tribulations that occur in light of the events of a story. You don't read a book for a description of a character; you read a book to see the character experience a set of events and change in light of them. That's what makes them interesting. So when your game has very few significant events, your characters are left to develop through small ancillary exchanges. That, or you outright just tell me what I should think about your characters. One of the moments that best demonstrate this is when Noble Team comes across some farmers in the first level. Emile gets short tempered and hostile in this exchange and Jorge immediately chimes in to diffuse the situation. Speaking their language, Jorge shows compassion, and we get a glimpse at the kind of person he is. To boot, there are some children cowering inside the house and the moment gives you a great sense that the planet is more than just a battleground; it's their home. This exchange does nothing for the plot, it doesn't advance anything significant, but it adds character. One could argue that the game is full of moments like this, but you'd be hard pressed to find many more. Jorge's development as a character is probably the best handled in the game. Unlike the others, the player isn't berated with overt comments that announce his qualities to you through a megaphone. We actually see Jorge emote on various occasions, be it interrogating a daughter of a dead man, talking to Halsey, floating above Reach in space, or sacrificing his life. Interestingly enough, the latter is a major event in the game. Funny how such events have the potential to develop character. In fact, there was a meaningful event that could have certainly provided our characters a chance to strongly emote that was unbearably mistreated: So there I was right? I'm on Reach, investigating a downed comms array. My commanding officer says that it was probably taken out by the local insurrectionists, when suddenly, I hear something up on the roof... What is that? Oh? There's a skirmisher outside the window. It's the covenant and they're on Reach. What does my team have to say about this? Jorge: Here we go. Really?! That was it?! Here's an opportunity to depict a full scale invasion of a planet by the Covenant, and how do you do it? The sound of scampering feet on the steel roof over my head? What is this, Left4Dead? And what's the reaction of our characters to Covenant invading our most heavily fortified military world? Jorge: It's the damned covenant. Emile: Cheer up big man, this whole valley became a free fire zone. Incredibly. Whack. Woefully missed opportunity. But I've digressed... It's through a character's actions, and meaningful interactions, that we find depth. Jorge gets this on a few occasions, but the other members of Noble... Should they be so lucky... In attempting to shoehorn some personality into these characters, not only do we end up with a rag tag team of cardboard cutouts instead of believable people, but we undermine the development of the atmosphere upon which Reach's story so precariously depends. This happens throughout the game, but I've decided to pick out a few gems that felt like someone was slowly pushing needles into my eyes, all the while telling me "Hey, I'm pushing needles into your eyes" Carter: Me, I'm just happy to have Noble back up to full strength. Just one thing. I've seen your file. Even the parts the ONI censors didn't want me to. I'm glad to have your skill set, but we're a team. That lone wolf stuff stays behind. Clear? Noble Six: Got it, sir. Jun: Welcome to Reach. This line basically reads like: Hey man, woah, woah, woah! I know you're badass, but can you dial back the awesome just a bit, we're trying to work together here. Oh, and in case you didn't know. You're playing Halo: Reach by Bungie Studios. Hell, this whole cutscene was better handled in the trailer; Jorge gives a subtle nod to Pegasi, and Jun says "You picked a hell of a day to join up." That would have been easier to stomach, but it still doesn't do away with the Mary Sue treatment of Noble Six. Now dialogue was never Halo's strong suit... But really... Kat: Question of my life. If the question is when will this station be back online, two weeks, earliest. This is plasma damage. All major uplink components are fried. Carter: Two minutes is too long. Kat: "Which is why I'm splicing into the main overland bundle to get you a direct line to Colonel Holland... You're in my light, Commander. Oh? Some technobabble? Did we mention Kat is real techy? How interesting that the major uplink components are fried... Hey, get out of her light and let the woman work dammit. This scene is about as excruciating as the one where Kat borrows Emile's knife to write nothing on the ground. Obviously, this doesn't advance the plot; instead, it's clear that it's meant solely to develop her character. But what's the development? All it tells us is that she's some boring sci-fi cliché: The Technology Specialist. Just about every member of Noble aside from Six and Jorge get this treatment. Because nothing really happens to them, we don't learn much about the main characters outside of moments like these. And it's moments like these that stuck out like a sore thumb. Honestly, most of Noble Team's dialogue is simply objective based. The most interesting dialogue in this game actually comes from various marines and officers who help build atmosphere (more on that later). I mean, what else do we really know about Kat? A pretty good test of character design is to try your best to describe the character. The more significant things you can say, the better. Rest assured, I've got a lot more to say about Cortana or the Arbiter than I have for every member of Noble Team. I have to think that a narrow scope doesn't necessarily mean an insignificant plot. Just because we're not dealing with things on a galactic scale doesn't necessarily mean your characters can't experience change. There's no interplay between a protagonist and antagonist, and there aren't any real emotional or psychological obstacles for our characters to overcome. The biggest problems our characters face are solely action based: there's an objective, and we have to complete it. Halsey: Are you a puppet or a SPARTAN? You said it, babe. What can you honestly say changed about each character from the beginning of the game to the end? Rated For Atmosphere I will say that, atmospherically, Reach does a stellar job of illustrating... well, the fall of Reach. The level designs and set pieces really make you feel as though you're fighting for survival on an embattled planet. When the UNSC Savannah offers her assistance despite having her "wings clipped," only to get shot down shortly thereafter, you really feel like things are barely holding together. There are plenty of small things that encourage this feeling. Next time you fight up the beach on Long Night of Solace, as you enter the base, stop and turn around. The battle continues outside. A Pelican drops off a ton of UNSC troops who are armed to the teeth, and if you hang out here, the Covenant waves don't seem to stop. You ultimately have to leave it, but like dummy battles you can see off in the distance on other levels, it's things like this that make you feel like you're part of a larger war. Of course, there's another missed opportunity here: At the beginning of Tip of the Spear, we get teased with that moment every Halo kiddie has dreamt about for as long as we can remember: One massive-as-**** scale battle. holy****omgicanteventellwhatsgoingon Now I'm sure that didn't pan out because of hardware constraints, but I don't think there was a single moment in the game where I fought alongside a friendly vehicle. You do this in Halo 2 in Mombasa and in Halo 3 on The Covenant, and *******, do those sections feel large in scale (Two Scarabs, holy ****!). Nevertheless, as far as the majority of the game is concerned, you certainly feel like you're desperately fighting a losing battle. There are countless examples of this. Helping civilians on Exodus and New Alexandria certainly developed a feeling of hopelessness with respect to saving the planet; even if it was just something to do because you got separated from the rest of the team and ultimately the plot itself. A cohesive story aside, these missions stand out the most in terms of setting atmosphere and give you a great chance to see civilians of Reach. When your falcon flies over battles occurring down below, you not only realize that you're losing the battle, but that you can't really help... you can only delay the inevitable. If I were more emotionally engaged, I'd have felt moved. The thing is, Reach has a heck of a lot of these little things that build the atmosphere, but really lacks it where it counts. Only those intimately familiar with the Halo universe will be able to set aside the lack of compelling story and characters to really appreciate these small things (and yes, I do appreciate them). But at the end of the day, when the characters fall flat, and when the things you do involve running around between ultimately arbitrary objectives, it's hard to get emotionally invested. I don't think Reach is gonna be turning Roger Ebert's head. Would it have been so difficult to ensure that everything maintained a logical flow? Some simple things could have made the events make more sense. Perhaps the big cruiser that we first came across was digging for the artifact that Halsey was researching. Suddenly the two events are meaningfully linked, and the game is that much more cohesive... The games of the trilogy did this with ease. Why is it that this game feels like "Halo: Random Crap That Happened on Reach?" Now, it's very likely that the books, or something in the legendary journals, will link together all of the events that occurred in the game. But as far as the actual game is concerned, it's not much more than a collection of events that occurred to some boring characters. At best, it's a tale of perseverance in a handful of soldiers. Maybe that would be compelling if those soldiers weren't bland and, thus, died unceremoniously (1). All I Need To Know Is, Did We Lose 'Em On the whole, I was completely underwhelmed by Halo Reach's story. When I completed everything, I was ecstatic about all the cameos and subtle nods to existing Halo canon (2), but I couldn't name a single moment that stood out to me. I couldn't say "Remember when this happened? And how about this." I was left kind of dumbstruck. And if not for the halo-heart-string pulling cameos, I don't think I would have had many nice things to say (3). The Halo trilogy is loaded with a lot of these iconic moments, and despite multiple play-throughs, I still can't pin a moment here that really stands out. I guess, at the end of the day, when it comes to Reach's story, the question is: Am I gonna place this on the shelf alongside the Halo Trilogy or ODST? I think we both know the answer to that. This Is not my work, just copies and pastes of some other smart guy, cause i'm to lazy to do it myself. lol.

Greetings, tidings. Ponies. Hey everyone, I'm Dale, I hope to stay on these forums for a while 'cause everyone seems pretty cool and all, when I signed up just a few minutes ago some Elites were have a dual in the shoutbox. So, all in all, i'm new so... But i learn very fast, and well greetings, tidings. Ponies. -Dale