Commit a last ditch suicide to try and eat the holy bacon. 'Tis a worthy cause.
You sit in your high school history class, and the student sitting next to you exclaims that she doesn't know what a typewriter is. You currently have a paperclip, a mechanical pencil, a wooden pencil, as well as a dead sharpie and a large backpack full of textbooks. How shall you rid the world of her stupidity?