I know this thread is over, at least the entertaining part before everyone became friends, but I thought I could add something.
From my perspective, you can do two things that are reasonable, you can feel bad about not getting that candy, or you can say to yourself, **** happens, and go get more candy
For unreasonable things to do, you could hire a private investigator. Then once you find them....
Also, assassination can be strategic, it prevents the enemy from respawning until the animation finishes, if you think that instant respawns are unfair that is, which I don't. Showstoppering by sticky detonatering a teammate and telling them to run into a room full of enemies backwards, is more fun then an assassination, just fyi.
I only made up three words for this post