Warning! Challenger Approaching!
Citizens in 343i City were stunned earlier this week when smoke and clouds of dust wafted off of a peninsula to the south of the city. Upon further investigation and after a voyage across the water, it appears that our fair city is not alone in this region.
"I didn't know what to think of it," Church, a local constable, stated. "In all my years on this planet, I never thought I'd see anything like it. The people in this newly found town called it 'Something'... and their style of building is completely erratic." Church cited their usage of infrastructure and civic buildings which are capable of supporting far more than the few residents that live there. "Why build a hospital- I think it was a hospital- which can hold a few thousand people when the town itself doesn't even have a thousand people? It's ridiculous. We don't even have a thousand people in 343i City!"
Zandril, a local construction foreman, commented on the young town's lack of aesthetic appeal. "[The residents] have no idea how to make their community look nice."
The town, named Something, was founded within the past week according to witnesses. It has a population of 117 people, and has constructed a ferry port to link up to 343i City.
"Every single person there appeared to be no older than thirteen years old," JXZAW, a member of the crew which explored Something, told the 343 Bulletin. "Their speech was composed of nothing but what sounds like curse words in our language! Why I bet if they spoke English, they'd be really annoying to hear on a microphone while playing online games," he explained, referring to their high-pitched voices. "When I said 'hello' to one, they said 'u n00b lolz', followed by a string of expletives. If these people are our neighbours, then I want to live in the Trench of the Banned."
We tried to interview residents of Something; all attempts to breach the language barrier failed.
Mayor Maestro hopes that trade can begin with Something and that both cities can work together for a better future.
Mayor Maestro Indicates Incoming Industries
Mayor Maestro proposed on Tuesday that a flatland on the northern side of Bungie Bay will be the site of a new industrial park.
"Due to the remoteness of the area and the need for jobs in 343i City, this new industrial park will be a godsend for our people. The city cannot prosper if half of our people are unemployed," he said. "I'd place the park closer to the city itself, but any pollution created can wreak havoc on the pristine environment surrounding the city limits."
The location in question is southeast of Moderator Mountain. Initial observations of the land show that a ferry port can be built on the southern banks, although supporting a shipyard will require careful modification of the land.
"The population of 343i City doubled over the last month. We now have 289 people living here. Before you know it, we'll have a thousand. Then ten thousand. Then a hundred thousand! We need to prepare ahead of time to ensure that growth is smooth and the city can handle it. This industrial park would be a huge step forward," Mayor Maestro stated.
The environmental impact of the industrial park has some residents worried. Local resident Hippie warned city council that tampering with the fragile environment near Moderator Mountain could have catastrophic results. "Building a shipyard at the mouth of Bungie Bay could disrupt fish spawning cycles. I would hate to see the futures of our mariners be thrown away without a second thought. Don't even get me started on what the air pollution could do." He also said that if this proposal were to pass, careful planning is required to negate any negative environmental effects. "If we're going to build factories, we need trees to absorb the gases that come out of those smoke stacks. Better yet, we shouldn't build factories at all!" He said with a laugh. "The site is home to an ancient forest. Some of those trees standing there right now are over 500 years old!"
Due to the scope and the sensitive nature of this proposal, the mayor has invited residents to come to city council's open house at the beginning of March to ask any questions regarding the proposal.