Velozity

I never understood halo 4's hate towards MC, i read all the novels and consider the game to be closest representation of that character from the books (okay, he talked a little bit more than usual) He wasn't an emotional guy in it, just more open (which was a bad move but not detrimental in my opinion)

It's a good intro, I really liked it. The only issues i had with it was the pacing, it jumped everywhere from fast to slow and the dialogue was in places was a little off-beat. I make the mistakes too, don't worry. It's a good chapter though enjoyed it very much! PS. A peice of advice HaloGeek gave me was avoid writing a script, it's not, you kinda almost went there in a few spots though.

Short chapter, building up to action. Planned chapter after this will be current than possibly another reach section. -CHAPTER 3- 0400 hours, August 30, 2557 (Military Calendar)\Sol System, Sydney, ONI HQ, planet Earth He was dead. He knew it. Winter wiped his brow, agitated as he glanced outside to where the Sydney Harbor bridge stood. The passage was rusted beyond repair and yet workers were still haggling about it, keeping the place working well past its use by. Beyond it was a darkened sky, thunderstorms threatening to move in. Looking back he moved a hand into his pocket and hastily snatched another piece of gum, tossing it into his mouth. This was bad- real bad. The only time ONI would talk to a grunt like him was when they needed information he wasn’t supposed to know. His mind flickered back to the data pad he had received before entering atmo. The sleek design still rested firmly in his pocket, if ONI wanted him dead they wouldn’t give him information that was worth a lot, he assured himself. Occupying time, he observed the building. The area was made of marble, with the ONI insignia inscribed into the center; pillars were occupied in an organized fashion while a fountain was placed against a wall to the far end perfectly aligned. Along the walls were paintings of military successes and failures deemed noteworthy. Yet for all the gloss and shine applied, Winter still felt like had just walked into his own grave. Looking at the clock, the time was nearing 4.am. He had been sitting here for two hours, waiting for the Brass to come in. They had taken the captain first, putting her through what Winter assumed was intensive questioning. At least she gets to walk away Winter thought grimly, rubbing his wrists recalling when they had arrived. The captain and him were addressed by ONI officials- as Vadumee expected, what wasn’t anticipated was the reception. Held at gunpoint at sight, they were forced into the compartment. The captain was clearly panicked. And she when she was alarmed, Winters survival instinct told him he was dead. What set him off the most was their arrival, as he was thrown into the waiting area. They procured the captain into the elevator just ahead of him and told him to wait. Left shaken and distraught, he remembered the adage from before he joined up. “When ODST’s started trembling in their boots, the logical option is to turn heel and leg the distance”. He tittered chewing on his gum for a few seconds and began contemplating the predicament, and the ins and outs of how ONI could get rid of him. The possibilities of coarse, were endless. Public execution, unlikely. Vehicular accident, not a bad choice actually. Bullet to the head, can’t go wrong there. All the thoughts crossed Sergeant Winters mind, doing their best to psyche him out. Get a hold of yourself man he wanted to hit himself. Training had taught him better, to be more controlled. But this was ONI god dammit. A noise cut in, distracting him. Ahead of him, the sound pricked his ears, Winter glanced up towards the doors. They had slid open, two men in uniform emerged. ONI intelligence. “Sergeant Winter,” One of the called “You may now come in.” They stood to the side and waited. Winter grasped the head of his chair and forced himself up. Nothing good would come out of this. Nothing. Every step towards the door was painful, the distance seemed to be stretch out before him. He looked behind him to the bridge. This would probably be the last time he saw it. When he reached the guards he cast a careful glance at them; they were tense. ODST’s had a reputation anywhere for combat efficiency; they clearly wanted to keep their distance. He entered the elevator, as the sentries walked in and stood at either side of the room. The one to his left entered a code on the wall. The lift hummed briefly before the encryption registered, Winter felt the ground drop. Winter still felt uneasy, and it wasn’t because of who he was about to see. ONI didn’t hire rookies, people who were nervous even in the presence of a Spartan were never hired no matter how well in combat they performed. They weren’t nervous, but they were combat ready. One of them reached towards their belt. They were hostiles. Ah **** Winter thought. Turning to the side so his shoulder faced them, Winter threw his weight into the first one. He slammed against him hard; his opponent coughed as the air was forced out of him. The additional regular was already on him, gun raised. But Winter was prepared. He reached out and clutched the hand that held the weapon, twisting the arm to the side and bending him forward. Winter raised his knee to the mans face as his head jerked back in an involuntary reaction. The gun dropped to the floor as he fell in agony. The fight wasn’t over yet. Turning around he deftly dodged the swing of the other. The next throw was parried quickly by Winter before he returned the attack with a solid jab to the jaw. Stumbling back as Winter moved around him, he kicked him firmly into the shin. The bone moved out of place awkwardly, as he crumpled to the floor holding his leg in pain. Ding! The elevator doors slid open and winter was greeted with a large dimly lit room. ONI. Winter could barely make out the features of each face. Something they clearly wanted. It was designed in a semi-circle so each member could discuss a matter that entered with equal sight, the center of the curvature was an ONI emblem- stained with blood. The blemishes were seen leading to a back door. The captain hadn’t made it out after all- like he almost didn’t. Winter pushed out his chest, spooks fed off fear. Any sign of it and they would eat him alive, they did just try to kill him. Standing above the gore he saw them communicating amongst themselves. He cleared his throat. They all stopped and stared at him. The man at the front addressed him. “Sergeant Major Enrick Winter,” The voice was cold, devoid of emotion, Major Antik, the only real significant ONI with a name. “You are here under the request of ONI section III. I will admit. We are impressed.” Winter became confused. Impressed? He took a step forward, he needed to show the brass balls. “Until clarification, I will not talk. So far, I am under the assumption that I will not exit this area, sir. Like my captain.” His audience was visibly stunned, and aggravated. Not many had the guts and to face a room full of spooks and challenge that authority, those that did didn’t get away with it. But Winter so far had no reason to believe he would. “Sergeant Winter,” A female this time, to his left, “I assure you that we never wanted you dead. We just needed to saw how effective you were. Otherwise, you would never have attained a certain disc. The dear captain was simply privy to information that was out of rank. No one is above ONI.” This didn’t make any sense, he turned back to the elevator. He only now realized those were stun guns. With the handles no longer held the orange imprint was visible. So if they didn’t want him dead, what did they want? “So what would you have me do.” He said, shuffling his feet into a more comfortable decision. Formality was obviously thrown out of the window here. “The disc sergeant. Everything you need is on the disc.” “So why not have you read it to me.” “Because… there are people we do not trust.” Antik explained, “We believe we have been breached. Which is dangerous for anyone alive no matter how far they are away. You are here for the basics.” “So what are basics.” Winter said, trying to hide how startled he was. Major Antik turned a page, “Sergeant Winter, you have… skills. Talents of a man with combat experience that rivals a Spartan. Under normal circumstances we would choose a more” He paused, searching for the right term “Conforming ODST.” The man then reshuffled the documents and picked one, holding the paper, he threw it. The folder landed at his feet flat angled towards him. It was a collection of dossiers. Bending down, careful of his surroundings he seized the documents and checked them out. Four people were in it. Each one had areas blanked out. ONI wanted him to only know the required. Even them, it was obvious they were all experts in their fields, respected in their designations. And all were below him in rank. “We are assigning you a team Winter.” The spook informed, “The best of the best.” Winter felt like the world had just become taken out from under him. It was all happening so fast. He took a step back. “I don’t understand,” He said, concerned for what they had prepared, “Why me sir.” The man sighed and turned to another next to him, she was younger. But for some reason, she appeared in charge. Leaning forward the women put her hands together. “We need you. You left the service before the transition of the Spartan IV program.” He looked around the room, everyone looked to share the same opinion. “The Spartans are assigned to every branch now but the one they originated from. And all remaining Spartan II’s are unavailable; you and your allocated team are one of the few skilled men left that are not in the program. We need your co-operation.” She looked winter in the eye, unflinching. He returned the stare, “And if I refuse. Ma’am.” The women smiled and indicated behind Winter. “Then I believe you will join your dear captain.” Winter glanced behind him. Another guard had a silenced magnum raised. Winter raised his eyebrows. “A little overkill isn’t it” He turned back to her and waved his hand “There isn’t much of a choice, is there?” He was shaken; beads of sweat were trickling down him. They knew it too. This act he came up with was fake bravado, it was the only reason he got away with it. He stood to attention, the only practical response he could think of on short notice. Looking at them he realized this was ONI at their core. People used to say you didn’t want to mess with the covenant. They never joined the military. “Alright. I’ll do it. Ma’am.” She turned back to the major smiling. He nodded and looked at Winter. “You are dismissed sergeant, thank you.” He said. Turning on heel relieved, Winter started to march out of the room. “—Sergeant, hang on for a second.” Winter halted, this couldn’t be good. “I believe I forgot something.” Turning around, Winter stared quizzically at Antik “Sir?” He asked, Antik held up a hand to wait and reached into his pocket. Pulling out a case he threw it to him. Winter caught it mid air. “I would like to be the first to congratulate you.” He said, Winter brought the case up to his chest and undid the clasp. Inside lay a brass insignia- the designation of a leader. Captain. “Well done, Captain Enrick Winter. You earned it.” Winter stared speechless for a few seconds unable to make sense of this. This couldn’t be right. Must be a mistake he thought. Double-checking the badge he saw the etching of Winter finely written into it. This was no mistake. “Don’t be shy Winter, put it on. Tomorrow you and you’re team leave. Everything you need to know about the mission will be on that disc. I expect you to be fully prepared. Dismissed captain.” Antick saluted, Winter felt a surge of dread. He was no leader, never should be one. Returning the salute, he trudged out of the room gazing at the badge in shock. So he was right, bad things did come out of this. They always do when he leads.

Wise words indeed.

Hey guys Shadow Team!!!

Dam you guys are lucky, in Aus its $110 to preorder.

Chapter 2 out. I titled the page, The Battlefield is home

Chapter 2 of my book Genesis of Faith. If you havnt read the first one heres the link http://www.343industries.org/forum/topic/33226-halo-genesis-of-faith/. And if you have before i recommend doing it again as i rewrote the chapter with different characters and events. Less dialogue than before too. -CHAPTER 2- 2330 hours, July 26, 2552 (Military Calendar)\Epsilon Eridani System, TwinSnake Hills, planet Reach “Contact. All units stand by: Enemy spotted, my position.” Winter knew there would be more of them, by the hills- but his orders weren’t to kill. His team needed to slip past covenant borders and locate Project Nomad. Quietly easing his binoculars down, he motioned for his squad to fall in. The three members that composed Zulu-Four covered his back, all discreet as they treaded forward, only halting when they reached him. Now silent and immobile, their ODST armor disregarded any moon-light that ventured on them. Ruthless and effective… they were the peak of physical excellence short of becoming a Spartan. But even a Spartan was ill-fitted for this task. He grabbed the silenced M7 caseless off his belt, the rounds were self contained and weren’t as deadly as the M5, but stealth was imperative in this op. On the hills below he saw a cave, with eroded rock for walls and a thin stream traversing through it… and camped alongside the entrance for as far as he could see were grunts- the covenants version of cannon fodder. Their stocky armor protected their meager meter tall selves, it was an environmental suit designed to replicate their home worlds atmosphere. Their guttural growls, barks and high-pitched squeaks reminded Winter of biped dogs. Their intelligence ranked just above dogs too, but they made up for their lack in intellect with sheer tenacity. He remembered watching them throw themselves upon soldiers fire until the ground was piled high with their dead bodies… and the ammunition of the marines were low. Among them were a few Elites, their huge physiques ordering the little guys around. He recalled sighting the buggers armed with needlers, plasma pistols and a few plasma turrets outside the entrance- unusually well armed. Those might be a problem, coupled alongside the population numbering in the thousands and you had an even bigger problem. The mission had to go off smoothly, no hitches or things back base would head down the *******. The objective was in that damn cave, and sneaking past would prove impossible. Winter regarded the entrance with concern and turned back to his team. They already knew the situation. He started a secure COM channel- short wave. “Four of us,” Miller whispered over the link “And a thousand of them? I say it’s condition SNAFU.” “Miller,” Winter said, “I want those Jackhammer missiles up top on that ridge. Take out the cannons and soften the rest of them. Jackson, you’re with him. Sam, you follow me up- we’re on that cave. Once those two hand out the welcome mat we’ll make our way in through that undergrowth next to it. Understood?” He got three nods of the head. They all knew the plan. “Okay, lets move people, we’re wasting time.” Winter started making way down the ridge to the hills, with Sam covering the back. No sound was made as the two gracefully traversed the terrain. He was confidant Miller would reach the top and dish out the pain. Otherwise no one was going to make it out of this alive. Slowing down when they reached the bottom, Winter signaled to the left. Two grunts had made lee-way from the camp, a choice that had proved fatal. Drawing out his combat knife Winter slowly crept up on the enemy unaware. Sam kept his sights on them in case anything went wrong, and unless he could get a clean shot to the head, the bullets would only useless. Upon reaching them Winter lashed out, sinking his combat blade deep in the head of the grunt. It stiffened and created a deep gurgling sound. The grunt to the left noticed and jumped up in surprise, raising it’s plasma pistol. Before it could get off a shot, a puff of blood escaped from its skull. The silenced round from Sam had hit its mark. The grunt toppled sideways and didn’t move. Winter looked back at him. “You ought to be careful sir, might find yourself dead one day.” “Only if you join, Sam.” He grinned; this is where he belonged, on the battlefield. Sam nodded his head to the side, Winter saw he was indicating at the bushes. Pushing himself up he made his way into the vegetation, shrugging off any branches. They were almost there. Sneaking their way up to the location, he needed that distraction now. He opened up the COM channel, “Miller, Jackson. Where’s my welcome party.” He whispered, aiming up his sights on an Elite. He received static until the channel cracked and popped, “Yeah yeah. Hang on boss. Setting up missiles now, three, two, one. Mark.” Winter looked up and saw two rockets propel themselves into the turrets in quick succession. One turret flipped over engulfed in fire while the other was a charred heap of metal. Two more streaks followed and landed into the dazed crowds of covenant. Consecutive booms that saw bodies flying. Winter started making his way past the frontline when an Elite marched in front of him. Gun raised. “Tango dead ahead sir!” Sam called, vaulting headfirst, and opened fire. Winter did the same- a full automatic concentrated fire. The rounds flickered against the shield until it failed erupting in a bright shower; it hollered in anger, charging them. But the only obstacle left was the flesh- which proved to be no problem. The rounds tore through the elite, breaching the armor. Blue blood squirted from the standing corpse, as it fell down, plasma fire bursting in wide arcs. Around him grunts ran around in confusion and pain. Finally they realized what was happening- and where the enemy was. They regrouped and charged in e’masse. “****. Fallback Sam, Fallback!.” Winter yelled, backpedaling into the cave. Sam and Winter exhausted their clips, together as they kept off the oncoming surge. Line after line they dropped, their bodies piling on top of the other as hundreds more took their place. Plasma fire spat around them, creating an intense heat aura in the vicinity. “GRENADE!” Sam called, skipping to the side. Winter looked up and saw the blue fury arcing towards his position. He leapt to the right, dodging the ball narrowly. The grenade belched an intense wave of plasma. Landing on his feet Winter opened the COM link. “Miller, where’s my fire support. I need more missiles on my position.” “Acknowledged sir, bringing in the pain.” More streaks landed into the flood of grunts, tearing their fragile bodies apart. Sam and Winter turned heel and ran further into the cave. Additional dull thumps reverberated through the tunnel the further they went in. “Welcome party laid out sir.” “Copy that Miller, were heading into the center. I want eyes on our exit.” Winter shut off the COM, and moved forward. This wasn’t a traditional cave, ONI had built a command post in the center of the valley under a skylight. It reflected any observer outside from seeing anything but rocks and the cave entrance was simply a natural way of making regulars ignore it. They finally emerged under the said skylight. Inside was a vast area of barracks and garrisons stationed next to Intel positions. There was no need for a conventional base here, as there was already a roof. Winter glanced up, the top was easily one hundred meters above. High enough for a banshee to fly comfortably. Facing ground level again, he sighted additional grunts accumulating on their position. There was no way to avoid this after the first shot was fired outside. “I think they like us.” Sam commented, opening fire again. Winter did the same, holding down on the trigger as an earthquake descended on them. Bullets shredded into the aliens, rupturing their environment suits and igniting the methane tanks they carried. Gouts of flame traced wild arcs as the grunts perished. Taking cover behind a building, he noticed an object soaring high, coming in at high speeds. Banshees. “Sam,” Winter barked “New contacts.” He unpinned a frag and tossed it to the side. A few seconds later dirt pinged off the walls next to him followed by squeals. Sam unpacked a special case off his back, taking out a Spartan laser. He lined up the sights and set the timer on the canon. Three, two one. The lethal ray blasted in a conventional line, cutting through one of the banshees. The vehicle veered to the side and crashed in a heap. The other one fired off a volley of plasma bolts, Sam dodged to the side. Where he stood before was charred glass. The banshee screeched overhead and banked back towards them. “Sam, HIT EM’ AGAIN!” Winter ordered, keeping off the grunts on ground level. Sam once again set up the sight, holding down the trigger until- Boom! The banshee exploded mid air and descended upon them. It collapsed with its thick trail of smoke shadowing it, crushing over the grunts in a perfect angle towards the two. The ODST’s jumped to the side as the wreck passed them. A wave of heat cascaded onto them; boiling their skin for a split-second. Winter made sure Sam was standing, acknowledging his state, before ordering them into the nearest Intel station. They secured the area, knocking off a few stragglers hiding amongst the equipment. When all was done, Winter made his way into the database sect and linked up with the command pad. He browsed the archive until he came across the corresponding file- Project NOMAD. He initiated a withdrawal of the dossier. “SATCOM. This is sergeant Winter, leader of Zulu-Four squad. We have acquired Project NOMAD. Request immediate extraction.” “Acknowledged Zulu-Four,” SATCOM replied, “Outside is secure, that is your pick-up location. Pelican’s postponing dust-off.” “Roger that SATCOM, we won’t keep them waiting. Winter out” He killed the COM link and motioned for Sam to fall in. They jogged double-quick over the two kilometers distance- exiting into the reach of their dropship. A pelican scuffed and dented over two days of hard fighting. Jackson was operating the turret. He looked at them and shouted.“We don’t have all day you know.” Winter grinned, and moved into the bay patting the gunner on the back. The engine whined to life. Sam took off his helmet and scratched his black stubble. “It’s a disgrace, this happening. ”he said, and leaned against the porthole. “We lose this and we’re screwed.” Winter stood next to him and stared out as they elevated into the air- Their were rolling plains, radiant beach’s and glistening canopies for as far as the eye could see “We wont lost this, we can’t afford to” he said. “Keep telling yourself that hero.” Sam snorted The Pelican climbed rapidly through the sky, clouds swiftly passing them. Above the atmosphere was the real war. In orbit, there were ships of every class pushing their capabilities to defend this planet. Each craft had carbon scoring and holes peppering their hulls. They were all maneuvering around the covenants plasma fire. Winter preferred to have his feet on the ground, with real dirt, and his ears ringing from the sound of an explosion—a place where he was in control. A base just wasn’t home. The battlefield was.

@HaloGeek cheers I thought that might be the problem. Thing is all halo novels are third person and I thought I might dabble in that writing technique for consistency, usually I write in first person. In fact if you go to fictionpress and search Crypten youll see my original IP work that's about a year old. Suffers similarly but is more full of detail and reflection and the actual events- unlike this people say it's very good so I thought id put it up. Im already goin through the Genesis anyway,y trying to add more meat to the experience. But I really appreciate the help. One more thing though, was the dialogue interesting or fluid or evben haloish? That's my main problem right now :/

How bout this? Maybe a clenaer cover???? Also, if you guys havn't i totally revamped the story adding 300 words n' stuff. And don't forget feedback, i've got none so far so i can't tell if my writings good or not :/

How bout this one?

@Halo5 follower, cheers I'll be sure to take up all the help i can get

Sorry, all i get is the quote and multiquote. And if you want i can remove the fanfic links, i just needed to provide a source with the updated text. :/ still don't know how to edit though. forget it. it just appeared

Hey, I'm seeing how writing a book based in the halo universe (duh) goes. On fanfic i noticed the numerous covers people would go through to make seem amazing. I was just wondering if someone would make one for me??? I suck at art. I don't want to sound like an *******. Recommend fanfic link as it's updated with a lot less errors and more vocabulary Thank-you in advance. It's called Halo: Genesis of Faith. That's me best art below http://www.343industries.org/forum/topic/33226-halo-genesis-of-faith/

Seriously does anyone know how to edit the page, i've made heaps of changes but don't know how to to it :/