AnimeAddict, there's no explanation needed for giving up and being so hard on yourself. It's not the end of the world if someone does not vote for you or if you don't make it. And if you don't it wouldn't really matter that much because all those things you've reflected, such as being a dedicated, polite member, and for the fact that you are respected probably hence why people have responded, now this is coming from someone who has a hard time gaining respect from others. But you know what? Keep moving forward.
I hope this helps, AnimeAddict