Wam

We all know who wins *cough* HK *COOUUUGHH*

(Cut Scene Ends) Cortana: We're cooking it too fast. Female Marine: Damn! Stove-top failure. They set the timer too early. We're losing her. Brace for burnt fries. dies (way later) (Cut Scene Begins) Cortana (Talking To Everyone in Ship): The enemy has captured Captain Keyes and are Treating him to Dinner aboard one of their cruisers - The Bnus and Butterfication. The ship is currently holding position approximately three Chicken Tenders above the other end of this plateau. Marine: So how do we get inside the restraunt if it's in the air? The Corp issued me a Saptula, not wings. Sargent: There's a gravity lift that ferries Steak and Wine between the ship and the surface. That's our ticket in. Cortana : Once we get inside the restraunt I should be able to lock on to the Meatloaf signal from Captain Keyes' Mouth implants. (Cut Scene Ends) Keyes: (sighs) Cooking here was reckless. You two know better culinary skills than this. Keyes: Thanks... Keyes: Good work, Chief. Marine: That was amazing, sir, you really ate the sh...! Keyes: Stuff it, corporal. Chief. Keyes: Marines, lock and flip your hamburgahs. Let's be ready to Grill. Marines: Yes, sir! Keyes: While the Covenant had us locked up in here I overheard the Sous Chefs talking about this Donut world. They call it...Onion Ring. Cortana: One moment, sir. Accessing the Covenant BBQ net. Cortana: According to the data in their networks the Onion ring has some kind of deep religious significance. If I'm analyzing this correctly they believe that Onion Ring is some kind of Food - one with vast, unimaginable Flavor. Keyes: And it's true. The Covenant kept saying that whoever controls Onion Ring controls the fate of the Milk Shake. Cortana: Now I see! I have intercepted a number of messages about a Covenant search team scouting for a Tailgating parking lot. I thought they were looking for the lot of a restraunt that I damaged during the battle above the Onion ring, but they must be looking for the Onion Ring's control room. Keyes: That's bad news. If the RIng is a Food and the Covenant start eating it, they'll fart and wipe out the entire human race. Chief, Cortana, I have new mission for you. We need to beat the Covenant to Onion Ring's parking lot. Marines, lets move. Marines: Yes, sir! Okay, sir. Keyes: Chief, you have the Mashed Potatos. (Cut Scene Ends) (End of level cut scene) Cortana: That's it! The fork is moving. Keyes: Everybody, eat up. Let's get stuffed. Cortana: Give me a minute to interface with the fork's controls. Keyes: Ahh, no need. I'll devour this bird myself. Cortana: Captain, Tribal African hunters! Keyes: Hang on. Kills em with a fork . (Cut Scene Ends) Cortana: The Covenant believe that what they call the Shopping Cart is somewhere in this Wal-mart. The Cart is a map room that will lead us to Onion Ring's control center. Cortana: The Wal-mart has multiple structures and areas. One of them contains the Onion Ring Batter. Foehammer: We're approaching the Cookout, its gonna be hot. Get set to come out grillin'. HAMBURGAHS! Flip'em, Marines! (End of Cut Scene) (Cut Scene Begins) Cortana: Let's get moving. Sporkhammer, here are coordinates and a Recipe I've worked on. Sporkhammer: Uh, Cortana, these coordinates are on the ground. Cortana: The Covenant did a thorough Well done steak. My analysis shows Onion Ring has honeycombs cereal which circle the whole Onion. Sporkhammer: I hope your recipe is on the money, Cortana. This Pelican won't sear on a dime. Cortana: Look on the burnt side, Sporkhammer. The last thing the Covenant will eat is Fried Wings from off the ground. The next chapters will be in here from now on

This covers majority cut scenes + important in game story stuff. Written by rrhuntington and influenced by Wam. Keyes: Cortana, all I need to know is did we eat them? Cortana: I think we both know the answer to that. Keyes: (Sigh) We made a blind jump, how did they... Cortana: Eat Burgahs first? The Covenant ships have always been fatter. As for tracking us all the way from McDonalds, At light speed my maneuvering options were limited. Keyes: We were running dark chocolate, yes? Cortana: Until we decelerated. No one could have missed the Fart you tore in subspace. They were waiting for us on the far side of the Burgah King. Keyes: So where do we sit? Cortana: Our fighters are taking up the last of the recon couches now, nothing serious. But I've isolated approach signatures from multiple CCS class battle groups...make it three capital steaks per group - and in about 1000 seconds they'll be all over us. Keyes: Well that's it then. Bring the Chefs back up to Cooking alert alpha. I want everyone at their stations. Cortana: Everyone, sir? Keyes: Everyone. And, Cortana... Cortana: Hmm? Keyes: Let's give our old friend a warm Hot Chocolate. Cortana: I've already begun. Cortana (broadcasting through ship) Attention all cooking personnel! Please report to your stations. Sergeant: You heard the lady, Fry like you got a purpose. Cortana: This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. SERGEANT: Men, we led those dumb bugs out to the middle of Burger King to keep 'em from gettin' their filthy claws on Steak. But, we stumbled onto somethin' they're so hungary for, that they're scramblin' over each other to eat it. Well, I don't care if it's God's own personal Onion Ring, or a giant Donut, we're not gonna let 'em have it! What we will let 'em have is a belly full of Steak, and a pool of their own Orange Juice to drown in! Am I right, Marines? Marines: Sir, yes sir! Sergeant: UM HM damn right I am. Now move it out double time. Cortana: Attention all personnel, we are refrying the enemy. External and internal bowel movements imminent. Sergeant: All you Dishwashers who wanted to see Covenant up close, this is gonna be your lucky day. (Scene cuts to Cryo room Man 1 in Cryo room: Wow! Sir! Man 2 in Cryo Room: Right. Let's thaw Steak out. Man 1: Okay, bringing low level Microwave online. Cracking the ice in thirty seconds. (Pause) He's hot. Blowing the Soup in five. (Cut Scene Ends) (Cut Scene Begins) Master Chief: Captain Keyes. Keyes: Good to see you, Master Chief, things aren't tasting well. Cortana did her best but she never really cooked worth a damn. Cortana: A dozen Covenant superior Restraunts against a single Halcyon-Class Sports Bar. With those odds I'm content with three...make that four full bellys. Sleep well? Master Chief: No thanks to your cooking, yes. Cortana: So you did miss me. (large explosion rocks the bridge) Keyes: Report. Cortana: It must have been one of their boaling parties, I guess an anti bacterial charge. Man in Cockpit: Mam! Grill control for the main Griller is offline. Cortana: Captain, that Grill was my last offensive option. Keyes: All right then I'm initiating Chef Protocol Article Two. We're abandoning the Pickle of Autunm. That means you too, Cortana. Cortana: While you do what, go down with the ship? Keyes: In a manner of speaking. The Donut we found--I'm gonna try and land the Autumn on it. Cortana: With all due respect, sir, this war has enough burnt meals. Keyes: I appreciate your concern, Cortana, but its not up to me, protocol is clear. Destruction or Raiding of the shipboard Fridge is absolutely unacceptable, and that means you and the Fridge are leaving the ship. Lock in a selection of emergency Meatloaf zones, upload them to my Mouth and then sort yourself for hard boiled eggs. Cortana: Aye aye, sir. Keyes: Which is where you come in, Chief. Get Cortana and the Fridge off this ship keep them safe from the enemy. If they capture them they'll learn everything: Food Deployment, BBQ research, McDonalds. Master Chief: I understand. Cortana: The Autumn will continue Devouring maneuvers until you initiate a landing sequence. Not that you'll listen but I'd suggest my subroutines handle the Oven. Keyes: Excellent work, Cortana. Thank You. Are you ready? Cortana: (long pause, looks around) Feed me. Keyes: Good luck, Master Chief. Cortana: Your Grill isn't much different from the Autumn's. Master Chief: Don't get any funny Recipes. (End of Level Cut Scene) Cortana: One last Can of Ravioli. Quick, get in before it gets Microwaved. Master Chief: Punch It! Female Marine: Aye aye, Sir. We're heatin' up. Goin' for minimum safe temperture. Marine: We're gonna cook again aren't we, sir? I don't wanna fry out here. Cortana: Look. Marine: What is that Donut, lieutenant? Female Marine: Hell if I know, but we're landing on it. Cortana: I knew it! The Autumn is accelerating. Keyes is sitting on the couch again. Female Marine: Heads up, everyone, this is it. We're entering the Donut's atmosphere in five. Cortana: Sure you wouldn't rather take a leek? Master Chief: I'll be fine. Cortana: If I still had fingers they'd be Fat.

Banned for hugging

I'll take SD's 11. Elsewise, give me a random number.

hush baby hush

RNG is a cruel mistress. Why is everyone voting me? Let me play for a bit. :l

Just arrived back. Spent a day woodworking and another in school. Gimme a rundown?

LOOK OUT A WAM IN THE DARKNESS http://i.imgur.com/BFrtDkT.jpg

Not enuf new lands 0/10

I don't think Twin was lying when he said he was the oldest on the forums. Lol. I'm on mobile so I'll leave a link. http://i.imgur.com/win7OSD.jpg

Voting... Found result: 0/10 Initiating recount... Voting... Found: apples/bananas Voting.exe has stopped working 10/10, dem guns in your avvy.

KFC. McDonalds is at least smart enough to listen to consumers (and maybe slightly more clean). And I await the Shamrock Shake! Would you prefer to go on vacation to the Australian Outback with no equipment or to Detroit with a toothbrush?

Genus - 18 Fossil Fuel Conservation - 3 Genus level? Yes. 1 out of 10 farmros agree that carrots are "Chill in the bill homie." (Fishy, SD is more of a Jerry Seinfeld of the Destructs.)

Face - 10 Body - 10 Faith in Destruct Septim - 9.25

Welcome [back] to the glorious community! Hope to see you around. :3

Well, there's already kind of fan clubs for things like Halo and Anime, and even a really-really-really-dumb-youtube-video-sharing club, between a certain group of handsome people. I volunteer to start the Destruct Tribe again.