Twinreaper Posted August 5, 2012 Report Share Posted August 5, 2012 I couldn't have ever guessed my 1,000th post would be made about such a horrible and troubled time for me right now. Yet I find some sort of comfort and coincidence with it being made on the subject at hand. In any case, here it goes. rest in peace mom..we will always love you. Sharon Stabb May 5th 1952 to August 1st 2012 On Thursday 8/1/2012 I returned home like any other day. I sat for a bit talking to the kids, checking e-mail and whatnot. At about 5pm I get a knock on the door. Upon opening the door I was greeted by my wife's Uncle Dave, Aunt pat and Grandmother. Instantly this was a bizarre visit at a very strange time. I invited them in and greeted them all as I normally would, Dave and Pat a little more since I have not seen them since the passing of my Wife's Uncle Dan. As soon as they got in and the hellos were finished, it turned real sour real quick. Uncle Dave proceeded to tell me, that my wife's mother had passed away earlier in the afternoon. I was almost paralyzed by this news. She was a woman whom I have loved and shared lots of great times with for the past 15 years. We had been thru foreclosure, bankruptcy, everything...all the while together and strong as a family. She had some medical issues yes, but this...this was sudden and a total shock. Once I was strong enough to speak, I asked him how he was going to tell Jenn, my wife? Dave then told me that I was the one who had to tell my wife. I kid you not when I say that having to tell someone, that a close loved one has passed away, especially their mother, is hands down the hardest and most gut wrenching thing I have ever been asked to do. This wasn't your typical relationship either. My wife and her mother were inseparable best friends. They told each other everything and called each other almost ten times a day each. For my wife, it would be like telling her that she basically lost herself. I tried desperately for about 10 minutes, pacing back and fourth in the living room trying to figure out how I was going to do this...what was the best way to do it. I know now, that no matter how you do it, or how gently you try....the pain and agony is still the same. She was bathing at the time when this was going on, and having to wait for her to come out of the bathroom made it that much worse. Yet somehow I found the courage to tell her, and after that moment...neither of us were the same. She is completely and utterly devastated. And the kids...well...they took it just as hard. Right now I am trying everything possible to keep my shattered family together and find the strength to move on....but I am slowly slipping. She was like a mother to me..and in the same turn, she considered and spoke of me as a true blood son to her. Today, my wife went to the funeral home to pay her last respects before she was cremated. Now, she seems even worse and I feel helpless. I don't know what to do or what to say. Does even being with her, help at all? I turn to my friends here, friends whom I have depended on, and whom I know thru words and understanding can help to give me strength through this tough time. I need to know that I did the right thing...that I can still move on and help my wife and kids to cope with this loss. I need help and advice. Can any of you understand what I am going through, and relate? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anarchy Posted August 5, 2012 Report Share Posted August 5, 2012 I can relate to you, almost the samething happend with my Dad Anyways Congratz on 1k posts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SternuS Posted August 5, 2012 Report Share Posted August 5, 2012 Condolences, my friend. Also my grandmother just passed by, and i was really fond of her. But i understand it's not the same. I don't know what to tell you. I could say it is in a better place now. But i know this doesn't resolve much. The only advice i can give you is: stay strong. Don't let your family split away, don't let the pain get the upper hand. Think about what did she tell you, remember the love she put in your family, don't let her knwoledge pass by with her. Everything she taught you, remember it, and share it with your kids. I don't have the courage to say congratulations for your 1,000 post. Anyway, good job. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highplainsdrifter Posted August 5, 2012 Report Share Posted August 5, 2012 sorry Twin, I hope everyone in you family makes it through this as best as they can, we're with you in spirit. From experience I would say the best thing you can do is be there for her so if at any moment she needs company you will be available. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCPO Mayh3m Posted August 6, 2012 Report Share Posted August 6, 2012 Twin, I am praying for you and for your family. I understand what you are going through.. the first week of July, we had two deaths in my family.. back to back. My dads father passed suddenly and unexpectedly. And my moms grandmother lost her battle to cancer. We had to fly back to Florida.. we only made it to one funeral and had to spend time with all of our family. It has been a trying time.. but we are getting through it.. I know it is a trying time for you and your family, but rest assured.. you will get through this time of sorrow. -HUG- 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VivaLebowski Posted August 6, 2012 Report Share Posted August 6, 2012 I would not say I could relate at all, and I'd bet the same for most of us. Most of us are too young to have lost our immediate parents. I think before they die we can't really escape from the idea that somehow they "live forevor". But no one does. Regardless, condolences good sir. I do not know what you believe, but I sincerely hope you have some belief's to take comfort in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThERavinGPixiE Posted August 6, 2012 Report Share Posted August 6, 2012 Though I have not lost either one of my blood parents yet (and may they live healthy and happy for many more years), my Grandpa passed away a few years back and I was with my mom when we got the phone call from my aunt. We were both devastated when we got the news. While it hit me extremely hard, it slammed my mother to the breaking point. All I could do to help her was cry together and be there. It took a very long time to get her to smile again and even now, 3 years later, we still can't really talk about him with each other without one of us crying. Even now, I'm freakin crying remembering it and missing him. But anyways, what I'm trying to say is this: Don't give up on her. Don't let her go through this alone. Don't let your family step off into darkness. Your mother may be gone physically, but her memory lives on in each person she hugged, loved, laughed with, or cried with. It will take a lot of time for the pain to start to fade, and the loss will always be there, but it's even worse to go through it alone. I'm sorry for you loss and I wish there was a way to magically make everything better for you and your family. Sending my love your way for your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SykoWolf Posted August 6, 2012 Report Share Posted August 6, 2012 Im so sorry Just know that there are people there for you and no matter what happens, that when everything seems like its at its darkest, a light always pops on. When were at our lowest, the only way left is up. On behalf of our ENTIRE community R.I.P Sharon Stabb 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sikslik7 Posted August 6, 2012 Report Share Posted August 6, 2012 My condolences will never be enough to fill the void now in the heart's of your family. Remember the good and the bad times, for those are the times that remain in your memories that define life's fullfilment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Absolute Dog Posted August 6, 2012 Report Share Posted August 6, 2012 Twin, we have talked and I am very concerned for you and your family. You will be in my prayers and you know I am always available to you on here or XBL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lᴜᴋᴇ Posted August 6, 2012 Report Share Posted August 6, 2012 Twinreaper, we have also talked in detail and I can't offer my sympathies enough. We're all here for you - and I'm always here for you, as I have been. Just stay strong. If not for yourself but for your wife and children - they need someone for support and they need a shoulder to cry on. As much as you may need one you have to be strong for them. You'll get through this, I know you will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vinyl Scratch Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 I can relate... I lost my aunt when I was 9... She was my favorite family member that wasn't my mom or dad.( or dog) Just keep in there. You'll pull through with your wife and kids. It may seem hard at first but you'll see that life goes on and that there is always a lighter side. If you ever have any problems you need to get off your chest or any advice you need, my pm box is always open to you. My heart goes out to you and your wife and kids.... I'm sorry for your loss... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoctorB77 Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 I hope you are able to get through these tough times. Your family will be in my prayers. We are sorry for your loss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinreaper Posted August 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 Guys... I cannot express enough how much you all helped me with your thoughts and prayers. We had a lovely service and closed it off with a great day spending time with my father in law at my wifes uncles house. It truly was a great and sad day...and I owe it all to the support of my great friends here and the strwngth of our beautiful family. If today was how I had to measure our love and family bond....then I think we will.move on and prosper. Thanks again everyone fo everything you have said, and your support. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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