Baby Boo Posted August 30, 2012 Report Share Posted August 30, 2012 Hello I would like to enter my story in the competition Here it is! I stood there, waiting in line for ODST enlistment. Of all my years of service as a UNSC marine, I have dreamed of this day. "Corporal Zimmerman?" I look up as I hear my name, and come forward to the table. I take the sheet, sign, and hand it back to the man behind the table. He looked it over, grabbed a stamp, and pressed on the sheet. In the middle of the paper were the words 'APPROVED' in bold red letters. I sat in my pod, ready to drop, as I remember the day I agreed to become part of the Helljumpers. I started up my pod's coms link to connect to the rest of my squad. Once I was online, I closed the hatch while I watched the drop countdown on my screen. As the timer hit ten, I secured my helmet. The clock struck one, and we were once again, dropping feet first into hell. My pod jolted slightly, and my head jerked against my seat. I looked out the window to my squadmates, falling in perfect synchronization. One pod then burst into flames. Followed by another. I saw a single stray bolt of plasma fly past my own pod. Struck by fear, I held on to the grips tighter. Banshees. Must have seen us drop. Quickly, I changed the trajectory of my pod sharp to the right. The pair of banshees stayed on to my three other squadmates. "Pull out! I repeat, pull out!" I shouted into the coms. I then watched in horror as they all eventually went up in flames under the banshee fire. I turned my head and looked down, and noticed I was headed straight towards a large hill. I braced for impact, and closed my eyes. I felt a large jolt as my pod hit the ground. I opened my eyes to see dirt flying in every direction. Slowly, I undid my safety straps, and kicked open the hatch. I grabbed my assault rifle from the damaged pod, along with my backpack. I turned, and saw a large stream of black smoke in the distance, not five clicks from my position. As I began my trek towards the source, a badly damaged pelican flew overhead, with a flaming engine. It was loosing altitude fast. I started to run to the impact zone, where I saw the familiar sight of more dirt hurled into the sky. I ran even faster. I arrived at the wrecked pelican, to see the pilot slumped on the controls. I opened the hatch and checked his vitals. There was a pulse. This man is alive. I pulled out my personal radio, and turned it on to check for frequencies. "Hello? Is anyone there? This is UNSC Corporal Zimmerman, I need assistance and medical attention!" I spoke into the radio as I lifted the pilots unconscious body from the cockpit. I got some static, then a few legible words came out. "...an, help is on the way!". Thank god... I thought as I sat down, leaning against the pelican. My vision then went black, and I passed out. All right, so that was chapter one! I hope you all liked it I'll continue with a series if you do! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Director Posted August 30, 2012 Report Share Posted August 30, 2012 Hello I would like to enter my story in the competition Here it is! I stood there, waiting in line for ODST enlistment. Of all my years of service as a UNSC marine, I have dreamed of this day. "Corporal Zimmerman?" I look up as I hear my name, and come forward to the table. I take the sheet, sign, and hand it back to the man behind the table. He looked it over, grabbed a stamp, and pressed on the sheet. In the middle of the paper were the words 'APPROVED' in bold red letters. I sat in my pod, ready to drop, as I remember the day I agreed to become part of the Helljumpers. I started up my pod's coms link to connect to the rest of my squad. Once I was online, I closed the hatch while I watched the drop countdown on my screen. As the timer hit ten, I secured my helmet. The clock struck one, and we were once again, dropping feet first into hell. My pod jolted slightly, and my head jerked against my seat. I looked out the window to my squadmates, falling in perfect synchronization. One pod then burst into flames. Followed by another. I saw a single stray bolt of plasma fly past my own pod. Struck by fear, I held on to the grips tighter. Banshees. Must have seen us drop. Quickly, I changed the trajectory of my pod sharp to the right. The pair of banshees stayed on to my three other squadmates. "Pull out! I repeat, pull out!" I shouted into the coms. I then watched in horror as they all eventually went up in flames under the banshee fire. I turned my head and looked down, and noticed I was headed straight towards a large hill. I braced for impact, and closed my eyes. I felt a large jolt as my pod hit the ground. I opened my eyes to see dirt flying in every direction. Slowly, I undid my safety straps, and kicked open the hatch. I grabbed my assault rifle from the damaged pod, along with my backpack. I turned, and saw a large stream of black smoke in the distance, not five clicks from my position. As I began my trek towards the source, a badly damaged pelican flew overhead, with a flaming engine. It was loosing altitude fast. I started to run to the impact zone, where I saw the familiar sight of more dirt hurled into the sky. I ran even faster. I arrived at the wrecked pelican, to see the pilot slumped on the controls. I opened the hatch and checked his vitals. There was a pulse. This man is alive. I pulled out my personal radio, and turned it on to check for frequencies. "Hello? Is anyone there? This is UNSC Corporal Zimmerman, I need assistance and medical attention!" I spoke into the radio as I lifted the pilots unconscious body from the cockpit. I got some static, then a few legible words came out. "...an, help is on the way!". Thank god... I thought as I sat down, leaning against the pelican. My vision then went black, and I passed out. All right, so that was chapter one! I hope you all liked it I'll continue with a series if you do! Why did he pass out though? He wasn't injured, and ODST's are used to the trauma of falling through atmo, even in a slightly damaged pod. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Boo Posted August 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2012 Why did he pass out though? He wasn't injured, and ODST's are used to the trauma of falling through atmo, even in a slightly damaged pod. If you noticed, he hit his head multiple times, hard. I probably should have described that more xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ardent Prayer Posted August 30, 2012 Report Share Posted August 30, 2012 He probably was just in shock. Nice job on the story Bullet! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hippie Posted August 30, 2012 Report Share Posted August 30, 2012 I like it bullet. It is pretty good. I think you should add some more to it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Boo Posted August 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2012 I like it bullet. It is pretty good. I think you should add some more to it. If people like the story, I'll make chapter two, which will be quite a bit longer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SykoWolf Posted August 30, 2012 Report Share Posted August 30, 2012 Nice job Bullet Keep it coming, i love reading fan fic 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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