a Halo fanfiction comic idea of mine

[Jam]

 a part of the first chapter of a comic i am making. it is very basic because i am doing this thread in ten minutes. critique it please. and i know it is missing a lot of things but i am going to post the comic in a latter date and i want it to be a big topic.

 

so here is part two of chapter one.

 

"Ma' am we're landing in thirty seconds prepare your team"

"Thank you Private," Tara 1332 says only half listening. 

"Okay team lets go! Move,Move,Move!"

 

The fire team lands and regroups about a mile south of the desert  where they landed. they are  at a bunker. the teams' tactical operator pulls up a projector. Then puts an A.I. in.

 

"Hello Sean" Tara says to the A.I.

"Hello Tara,   you need assistance i see. what do you need me to do?"

"Sean can you locate where the hostages are?"

 

Sean looks confused then amused then confused again.

 

"Ma' am it looks like they are under us but i dont see any tunnels as of now."

"keep looking sean this bunker isnt as basic as it seems."

 

she looks around and realizes this building is forunner. 

 

"ah here it is" Sean replies after a few seconds.

"this back wall is actually a door. "

 

"You mean that this is the entrance to a under ground base?" a spartan asks.

"More like a base turned into city" Sean answers intelligently.

 

the team finds  controls and opens the door.  Tara takes Sean and puts him into her helmet.they enter the  building and take hold in a small building where they can plan the attack  for the next day...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Sp4rkFloW]

I like it! The A.I. seems like an A.I., which is something I fail to write well at. The underground city/base reminds me of the book, "The City of Ember", if you've ever heard of it. Just wondering, but when does this take place or where? (e.g, Reach, Requim, Earth, etc.)