Raiku Vol. 1 chapter 1

[Sniper0092]

Chapter 1

                Introduction

                                                            The story so far.....

In 2050, humanity makes contact with aliens. Landing suddenly in hopes of peace, humanity made its first out-worldly friends. Over time, they helped make medication, and advanced technology. Even making the world's most advanced cities and laws. But in 2080, a human rebel alliance raged war against the world. This rebel alliance is known as the Kasara, an alliance filled with people that have had bad personal experiences with aliens, each having their lives changed dramatically. Most lost their families. With their stolen alien tech from facilities, filled with rage, the world would be in for a fight.
Desperate, the military then formed a special army of genetically augmented cops, the Cop Troopers. They helped repel many of the Kasara's attacks. But the Kasara were more powerful, thus killing most units...

In 2098, a genetics scientists named Dr. Cole had an idea. The strong, unusual plan. A lot of war tactics would be allowed during desperation. For unknown reasons, the man wanted to clone, and train a cybernetic theropod army (carnivorous dinos). Thus project: CYBORG began...
After 2 years of training, 4 of the most skilled raptors separate to different locations to stop the Kasara. Raiku-001, chose to protect Atlanta, he is one of the city's last lines of defense...

GAP (Atlanta Georgia Police) HQ, 8:45 PM, April 1, 2100.

The GAP building, with it's twin parts connected by a bridge enveloped in glass, and shiny red material, the 70 story building stood out in the glorious city of ATL.
In the distance, more wonders stood out: The silhouettes of hovering vehicles zoomed across the city, along the pinkish-blue horizon that was the setting sun.

Deep in the building, lied one of the most advanced armies in the world. The large shuttle bay had multiple transportation and weaponry. Slender, light weight grey jets, and a load of slender dropships were lined up neatly. The dropship's most bulky parts, were the front, the rest had slender, fin-like appendages to their sides and at the back. They had a fish-like appearance to them, they looked like submarines.
The weapons were in tall skinny cases that were open, both weapons and equipment were neatly set vertically, grenades were beside the guns.
The big shuttle bay had a theme of mostly grey, and some parts were white, like the railing of the multiple stairs and the large balcony that over looked the room.
The large blast door that let the aircraft out was shut tight, it's glass let in the sky light, forming long shadows on the hard deck.
Next to a dropship, standing almost motionless, a short, white muscular man of 40 looked at his army of 30 Cop Troopers. Pausing dramatically before finishing his motivation speech, his deep god-like voice demanding.

"Tonight, we take back what is ours!" Pausing again, he sniffled before speaking again, "I want maximum effort. This is one of the most important missions we will do!"

Even without the speeches, CPT. Karosso Kurt's muscular figure intimidated most, his thick biceps catching lots of shadows.

The EGX-99B battle suits of the units was by far the strongest of any human suit. They wore red body suits like leather, grey tiles of abdominal armor, and a helmet with a detailed visor.
Project: COP TROOPER began production in 2081. The project was lead by a former soldier named Leslie Parker, who was a weapon engineer.
The production of the suit began with a prototype made, deep in her testing lab. She volunteered to wear the suit during testing. After successful test based on taking bullets, projectiles, large objects, and nuclear bomb impacts, the team then started the formation of the army. They were part military and police units, ready for most things.

By 6 months, approximately 200000 units were formed worldwide, thus making the most successful army made that time.

The grey, titanium X shoulder plates of the units made long, faint shadows on the deck, casting them enough to lightly cover parts of the dropships lined up a few meters away. The strongest human material ever made.
Among the line of units was Carry Tarriyama. A young commander from Greece, one of Kert's most reliable comrades, second in command. Her pale tan skin, and tall figure made her stand out in the crowd, along with her well toned curvy body, the brunet was very strong.
To her right, climbing out the dropship being repaired, the petite LT. Wendy quickly walked to Kurt. Putting her tools in her brown holsters, her blood red hair bouncing as it shun, she had very pale skin, nearly white.

She saluted swiftly as she spoke in a energetic tone, "Alright captain all significant damages are fixed."

"Very good." Kert replied quickly.

"I got a update about the weapons facility, the orbital drones detect two more anti-air guns in development in a rather quick pace.."

Kert, disappointed, just said, "Very well. Good job Wendy."

He walked to a certain tile on the floor, a dark grey button that activated the holo table, the large surface rose up as it hissed, some cold mist eased out. Then the machine glowed a light teal.

He spoke quickly, "Alright looks like we can't do a direct approach anymore, so we need to use stealth. You will go in two groups: Carry, lead group 2." he turned to a skinny, tall trooper in the row named Glard, his mid brown skin and brown hair made him noticeable, "Glard, lead group 1. Vadilda, you--"

 

In the distance, 10 yards away, the triangular elevator pinged! open as something made it's stop...Everyone then looked too, then the door hissed open. In the distance, a tall, armored figure was in sight, it's bird-like standing made it even more unique looking.
The animal walked, it's head cocking up and down as it did so. The animal had spiky rods of some sort on it's top, running from the neck to it's spine and tail, they were attached to gray armor plates, it reminded Carry of a reptilian hedgehog. It's slender shout was protected with a shiny helmet with a spike ridge over each big eye. The animal was very intimidating looking, it looked like something out of Japanese mythology.

The animal finally got to the humans, then in a second, Kurt smiled, then spoke, "Troopers, this is our new member, Raiku."

Now that the creature was closer, as everyone stared in wonder, Carry was too shocked to believe what she was looking at. A set of long arms with claws, big curved toe claws, and a long tail, it was a deinonychus.

"Glad to see you sir, we need to change our tactics. Let me brief you: The Kasara found an island, an old underground weapons facility is in there. They plan to take the weapons and supplies to their master, and have another anti-air gun in the works, I doubt we'll make it before it's finished so, that's were you come in." Raiku's motionless stare caught Kert's attention more then his speech caught his, "We will fly to the Kasara," He pointed at the holographic map of Gyer's island, a faded pink line followed his finger, showing the path to Raiku, "But won't land directly at their base, we will stop not too far from the beach, then hike our way to them. As for you. You will snipe."

Raiku nodded, his response seemed robotic to Carry as she stared at him, he then spoke, his deep British accent caught everyone by surprise, "What happens next?"

"As you cover us, team 2 will kill as many as possible, and team 1 will infiltrate the base, destroying all weapons." a line raced in the holographic map as he talked. He noticed how tall Raiku was, the 6 foot tall, cybernetic warrior intimidated him a little, "Miss Carry will lead group 2, after you've taken out enough, go to her to wipe out the rest."

"Understood." Raiku said.

"Move out everyone!"

"Move troopers!" Carry said, leading the troopers to a long table of helmets. They had a biker-like look, their symmetrical caps, and green detailed visors gave them a both intimidating and futuristic look.
The troops quickly grabbed and reloaded weapons from the long tilting table, filled with G36Cs and many other weapons. Then quickly dashed to the ships, moving quicker thanks to their speed enhancements. Everyone thundered down to the dropships, climbing up the ramps that led them in.
Still at the armory, Raiku carefully looked around for extra clips and equipment. After finishing looking, he slipped the sniper clip in quickly, and pulled the bullpup to lock and load. He dashed toward the first ship he saw. And as he did that, a shiny, black tented triangle-like visor contracted across his eyes, for protection.
As he hopped in, the ships hovered easily as dust flew up, their bright blue thruster fire glowing in the deck.

"Thrusters one by four, check. backup and main power, check. Status: Green." one of the pilots said, her name was Petrica, looking at the floating holographic bright controls.

Seconds later, the large, blast door that overlooked the city hissed open easily. Then in a second, the two ships suddenly increased speed, and dashed toward the city.

[D-38 Boss]

Very nice.

 

A few minor issues with grammar, but otherwise, it's pretty good!

[Sniper0092]

Very nice.

 

A few minor issues with grammar, but otherwise, it's pretty good!

Thanks!

[Sniper0092]

Very nice.

 

A few minor issues with grammar, but otherwise, it's pretty good!

How is it now?

[D-38 Boss]

Better, but there are a few things to still look out for.

 

Any mention of the Kasara should be capitalized, it's a proper noun.

 

There are a few points where a comma would have been a good idea. EX: "Alright Captain, all significant damages are fixed."

 

And make sure if you are describing an Item, be sure to use the proper article. EX: A gun An Elevator. If you're not sure, say it out loud If it doesn't sound right with A, try An.

 

Other than that, great!