Zelda Posted October 26, 2013 Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 Here is a little taste of what it feels like while driving in Phoenix, Arizona. And just for the record, NONE of it is exaggerated. HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX: 1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: FEE-NICKS'. There are other names to learn such as Awatukee (Ah-wa-Too-Kee) but that will be included in the advanced course. 2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. 3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to at least match the highway number. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'. 4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. 5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. 6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot. 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items. 9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the 'I-10' are the same road. SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive are the same street too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street. SR 101 is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd. doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain. 10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally activated. 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. 12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckoningZebra1 Posted October 26, 2013 Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 (edited) Something tells me someone didn't enjoy driving today. Edited October 26, 2013 by Beckoningzebra1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buns Posted October 26, 2013 Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 Actually none of this can match what it is to drive in Hialeah(Florida) or Miami Beach. Spanish people, Road Rage, and the extremely shady drivers plague the streets.I went to Arizona this summer it was a lovely place cannot wait to go back. I am actually really jealous you get to see cACTUSES in your everyday life. I am literally quite obsessed with Cacti they're the coolest plant in the plant kingdom since Cacti. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted October 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 Actually none of this can match what it is to drive in Hialeah(Florida) or Miami Beach. Spanish people, Road Rage, and the extremely shady drivers plague the streets. I went to Arizona this summer it was a lovely place cannot wait to go back. I am actually really jealous you get to see cACTUSES in your everyday life. I am literally quite obsessed with Cacti they're the coolest plant in the plant kingdom since Cacti. And if your interested in the Saguaro Cactus, I warn you not to try to take it. It'll land you in allot of trouble. Seeing as how its protected by the state. As for me, I am not a fan of Cactus or this state. I just like the driving instructions. lol Something tells me omeone didn't enjoy driving today. lol. Nah. Lucky for me I dont live in Phoenix. But I have been there so many times and none of them is very fun to drive in. And I dont drive, cant drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buns Posted October 26, 2013 Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 And if your interested in the Saguaro Cactus, I warn you not to try to take it. It'll land you in allot of trouble. Seeing as how its protected by the state. As for me, I am not a fan of Cactus or this state. I just like the driving instructions. lol I would never even dare touch a cactus. Besides I bought my own online and I am now growing one! Muahahaha! I haven't touched it ever since I put it in the pot. Those needles scare me..... Also I do not know how I'll sneak a cactus on the plane but didn't know they were protected by the state. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted October 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 I would never even dare touch a cactus. Besides I bought my own online and I am now growing one! Muahahaha! I haven't touched it ever since I put it in the pot. Those needles scare me..... Also I do not know how I'll sneak a cactus on the plane but didn't know they were protected by the state. lol. Not all cactus, just saguaro one's. The tall and slender ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Stig Posted October 26, 2013 Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 Actually none of this can match what it is to drive in Hialeah(Florida) or Miami Beach. Spanish people, Road Rage, and the extremely shady drivers plague the streets. Nothing is worse than Michigan Drivers. And nothing in Michigan is worse than Detroit drivers.... Did you know that there are gangs and crews that drive around very late at night, without their headlights on, and if you flash them the brights (For any reason, like they are going to slow, or even if you are just trying to be a good Samaritan and let them know they don't have lights on), they will follow you everywhere you go, no matter where you go, and will kill you. And also never stop at red lights when its night time. You WILL get robbed, or shot. Even the police officers go through red lights in fear of their lives. If a cop see's you go through a red light at night in a bad part of town, they won't even go after you! They know its to dangerous to just be a sitting duck, so they let it slide and give you a free pass. Now speaking of drivers, if you want to know about some awesome drivers, go to Virginia. MY. GOD. they are, the most courteous and laid-back drivers you will ever meet. Everyone signals, everyone lets you in their lane, no body passes unless there is more than enough space... Some even let you go first when THEY have the right of way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted October 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 Nothing is worse than Michigan Drivers. And nothing in Michigan is worse than Detroit drivers.... Did you know that there are gangs and crews that drive around very late at night, without their headlights on, and if you flash them the brights (For any reason, like they are going to slow, or even if you are just trying to be a good Samaritan and let them know they don't have lights on), they will follow you everywhere you go, no matter where you go, and will kill you. And also never stop at red lights when its night time. You WILL get robbed, or shot. Even the police officers go through red lights in fear of their lives. If a cop see's you go through a red light at night in a bad part of town, they won't even go after you! They know its to dangerous to just be a sitting duck, so they let it slide and give you a free pass. Now speaking of drivers, if you want to know about some awesome drivers, go to Virginia. MY. GOD. they are, the most courteous and laid-back drivers you will ever meet. Everyone signals, everyone lets you in their lane, no body passes unless there is more than enough space... Some even let you go first when THEY have the right of way. There are often some good drivers. Some friendly ones. But there is one thing I have come to figure out. Most of the drivers seem to think since everyone one else is paying attention, then they dont have to. I cant count how many people we've seen on the road who is simply not paying any attention whatsoever. Its horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Orbis Posted October 26, 2013 Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 Oh wow. 85 MPH... a wimp like me could NEVER handle that. As for getting shot, luckily I'm in Salt Lake City, and Mormons aren't very violent... Though, they are pretty racist to me... -.- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted October 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2013 Oh wow. 85 MPH... a wimp like me could NEVER handle that. As for getting shot, luckily I'm in Salt Lake City, and Mormons aren't very violent... Though, they are pretty racist to me... -.- lmao. That's how I am on any road faster than 45. I death grip the handle bar on the front seat passenger door. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azaxx Posted October 28, 2013 Report Share Posted October 28, 2013 If you ain't outta control, you ain't in control! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maestro Posted October 28, 2013 Report Share Posted October 28, 2013 lol. Not all cactus, just saguaro one's. The tall and slender ones. I don't like cacti, even if they are tall and slender like myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Orbis Posted November 3, 2013 Report Share Posted November 3, 2013 lmao. That's how I am on any road faster than 45. I death grip the handle bar on the front seat passenger door. OMG! Finally someone who won't laugh at me for that! Plus, what is even scarier is being in a car being driven by a 16 year old, going the opposite way on a lane going the other direction, at 50 MPH on a crappy little neighborhood road. Yeah; don't ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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