Stranded

[Guts]

Hello everyone! I decided to write my own Halo book. I will post the first chapter in this topic. I would like feedback on it also. The book is called Stranded. Its about an engineer who was on the UNSC Grafton.

 

Chapter 1:Prologue 

Fleet Comm:"UNSC Grafton, you are authorized to engage. Mac rounds have been authorized."

 

Francis Mallarde:"Roger that, moving to engage target"

 

The figure of the star frigate glided over to the Spire, a Covenant installation. The Mac cannon began to charge as all air personnel withdrew. The shot rang out and the Spire crumbled as Noble Team looked on. Without warning the Covenant Super Carrier, that loomed in the skies above Reach, glassed the Grafton and ripped in two.

 

Fleet Comm:"UNSC Grafton, come in Grafton!"

 

Noble 1:"Grafton's dust, Sir."

 

Fleet Comm:"Roger that Noble 1, get yourselves out of there."

 

The Grafton drifted down from its altitude of 500 feet slowly before hitting the same the spot the Spire once stood. A dust cloud rose above the crash site followed by an mushroom cloud as the engines exploded. The remaining  air units scrambled. No rescue came. Everyone expected there to be no survivors. But nobody suspected that a single engineer was smarter than the average human.

 

 

[Caboose The Ace]

Write a bit more first if this is the first chapter it is to short once you have wrote some more then I can give you some feedback.

[Guts]

Ok so here is more on Chapter 1

 

           Chapter 1:Prologue

Oni had ordered Noble Team to destroy a Covenant installation known as the Spire. Noble 6 had eliminated all Covenant stationed to the tower. He deactivated the shield around the Spire and began to run towards the edge of installation. Noble 5 and Noble 1 arrived in a Falcon just as Noble 6 exited the Spire. 6 ran and jumped towards Noble 5 who grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the Falcon.

 

Noble 1:"Shields are down, Sir."

 

Fleet Comm:"UNSC Grafton, you are authorised to engage. Mac rounds have been authorized."

 

Francis Mallarde:"Roger that, moving to engage target"

 

The figure of the star frigate glided over to the Spire. The Mac cannon began to charge as all air personnel withdrew. The shot rang out and the Spire crumbled as Noble Team looked on. Without warning the Covenant Super Carrier, that loomed in the skies above Reach, glassed the Grafton and ripped in two.

 

Fleet Comm:"UNSC Grafton, come in Grafton!"

 

Noble 1:"Grafton's dust, Sir."

 

Fleet Comm:"Roger that Noble 1, get yourselves out of there."

 

The Grafton drifted down from its altitude of 500 feet slowly before hitting the same the spot the Spire once stood. A dust cloud rose above the crash site followed by an mushroom cloud as the engines exploded. The remaining  air units scrambled. No rescue came. Everyone expected there to be no survivors. But nobody suspected that a single engineer was smarter than the average human.

[ShockGazm]

Nice little read, but it needs a bit more that's all.