Cheating Skills: A Cheeto Story

[Delpen9]

Sagging down the hallway, Roy approached his 1st period room. Girls blushed, boys cowered, and teachers scowled. The notorious Cheeto Man had gained quite the reputation. Using sublime test taking skills, Cheeto Man outsmarted every teacher who desired to catch him cheating. No one knows his true purpose, but some say he has nefarious intents, while others claim he's only out to have a good time. 

 

Cheeto bags hung out of his pockets, and bags obtruded from his unzipped backpack, explaining the bulge lumping the bottom. Myriads of people intersected the hallway to grab Cheetos out of his book-bag, never doing more than a quick grab as to not interrupt Cheeto Man's pace. 

 

Cheeto man slung a cheeto attached to a thread after the the doorknob. It wrapped around, forcing the door to swing open. The cheeto receded to his sleeve like a weaponized yo-yo. The classmates giggled at his presence, and the manly men chortled. His absence would have been a shame, as he puts on quite a show. 

 

"Late! Tardy slip?" said the teacher. 

 

"Here have some Cheetos." said Cheeto Man. A bag of cheeto puffs were impelled like a rocket out of his book-bag, landing in Kool-aid Man's bowl. The cheetos dampened and dissolved, only leaving behind the bag. 

 

"Sit down. I don't know what Chester was thinking with you." 

 

"Will do!" replied Cheeto Man. "Hey, do you mind telling us the story, about exactly why, you are working here?" he said while nudging Kool-aid Man with his elbow.

 

"C'mon tell us for once." The classmates agreed.

 

Kool-aid man frantically scanned the room erroneously. "What ever could you mean? I'm working here because I adore you abominable children."

 

"Now you're making it too obvious!" retorted Cheeto Man while thumping down on his desk, "We know you did something. Just tell us, because otherwise we'll spread rumors; and we all know how susceptible you are to black-mail." He raised a brow. 

 

"You're threatening a tea..."

 

"No, you're threatening our sanity by not telling us." calmly interjected Cheeto Man.

 

"Okay. Okay. Okay." he said,"You know that Family Guy episode where Stewie and Bryan travel threw time, attempting to change it back to its original state? The producer gave me a bad image by showing me smoking pot."

 

"Super green!" yelled Yang from the back of the room. 

 

Kool-aid man continued, "My product appeals to the younger demographic, and I try not to introduce them to juvenile things. I got into a brawl with the producer. He was some sort of over-sized chicken."

 

"But it doesn't make much difference. The channels that show Family Guy aren't child friendly in the first place."

 

"Bzzzzz!" countered Yang to make Cheeto Man shut-up. Cheeto man glared at him. 

 

"Teach! Have you gone bonkers in the donkers?" yelled Yang from the back, again. 

 

The entire class ignored his remark. It seems that they have adapted to his shenanigans. 

 

"We fought for almost 2 hours. At first we started in the studio; but then we ended up on a construction site, where we subsequently were launched up into the air by a spring board. While fighting in the air I choked him with cloud, but that didn't last. He grabbed a bird and pecked me in the eye, which forced me to release him from the strangle. We descended into the pond below, splashing a big splash which stunned for a moment. I grabbed the nearest whale and smacked him with it, like I do my grandmother." 

 

"Of course." remarked Yang. 

 

Cheeto Man was intently listening to the story. It was obvious he was interested. 

 

"The chicken grabbed an electric eel and electrocuted me with it. Then, he wrapped it round me to pull me out of the water. I tore the eel in half and started tussling again. We worked our way on top of the Eiffel Tower, where King Kong and I ganged up on him. The chicken was clinging to the overhang. King Kong attempted one last punch to the chicken's face, but failed because he grabbed King Kong by the arm and swung him backwards. King Kong fell to the ground and died."

 

"Well daang! Chicken killed the beast. Listen to that talented voice. Cocka doodle doo!!!" said Yang. 

 

"The fight was almost over. The chicken climbed up the tower while punching me. In last ditch effort I beat him in the head with my body, since it's a glass bowl as you can tell. He went into a haze and tipped over the side, but that wasn't the last of him. My glass bowl leaked out diluted kool-aid, that was less sticky due to the water. It was enough to relinquish the chicken's grip, and he fell, just like King Kong." 

 

"I was fired from my job for killing the producer. They put me in community service after I pleading criminal insanity in court."

 

"So, why did they put you in a school full of kids if you pleaded criminal insanity? Shouldn't you be an insane asylum?" said Cheeto Man," and Family Guy doesn't have a chicken as a producer. All five of them are undeniably human, though I have my theories about Cherry Chepapravatdumrong..." 

 

"Oh. Then what did I kill." muttered Kool-aid man. 

 

"We need to find out everything about you K man: your killing, your desires, you most secretive of secrets." said Yang. 

 

Yang was blatantly ignored while Kool-aid man passed out the state tests. He eyed Cheeto-man with his reveling grin. This would be a war of the ages; a detective and the criminal. Kool-aid man would let nothing slip passed him. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

[Akali]

Err I have no clue what to say...

[Unease Peanut]