Caboose The Ace Posted July 7, 2014 Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) Chapter one :Pilot : Today was Monday; it was a perfectly normal day in 343 City.Connor kenway was testing his free running abilities to the limit, on buildings, poles or even cars in the urban area of General discussions.GermanshepherdD was running around the city’s simulated combat arena housed in Offbeat fighting Biggles and P34nut in a friendly sparing match.DarkAngel was almost obsessively watching the latest trailer for Rwby volume two on his computer over and over again in his small house in General discussions.Everything seemed normal.In the centre of the city was a large triangle shaped building, it was the Staffs Skyscraper, also named the Hub. The Skyscraper was the tallest in the whole in the city and could be seen from almost anywhere.All members were permitted inside the lower levels, that had once started out as storage rooms with a few shops and Bars had become the largest trading Hub in the city, spanning over 30 levels of the Skyscraper. The remaining 15 levels were Staff only levels protected by some of the most advanced security systems and protector Bots.The citizens of 343 were spilt into three groups, Members, Trusted members and finally dedicated members reserved for the best of the best. Every time you did a significant contribution to the 343 community you moved up a rank. Every group had a chosen ambassador that was given clearance to go inside the upper levels of Skyscraper and have monthly meetings with the Redstarocket and other moderators about the wishes their particular group they represented.Today Twam had invited twenty ambassadors from Halo customs to take a look around the City. Bnus had been chosen to welcome the ambassadors once they have reached the first floor of restricted the staff levels; so far, all was going to plan. ****************************** No, this not related to the Sniper of 343 but this story and that story share two similarity, it is set in a fictional version of 343 community forum, as if it was a real city. the second one is a guest star thing.Guest Star ProfileName:Weapon(s): (Anything. Does not need to be Halo related.)Appearance:Skills and Powers: Bio: ^ I will try to include as many members as I can for this, but this is for people who want their online persona to 100 be part of the story and been personally created by themselves. btw I am terrible at titles for story's.... that was the best I could think of. Edited July 7, 2014 by Caboose the Ace 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoshi1176 Posted July 7, 2014 Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 Name: YoshiWeapon(s): Silenced SMG and a Magnum Appearance: Short dirty blond hair, 5'9" muscular build. Wears a nice black suit and walks with prideSkills and Powers: Good in close quarters combat, and has the power to persuade people. Bio: Comes from a very prestigous family, he is very well known around the city for his views on politics around the city. He is close friends with many off the Staff, and owns a office on the 10th floor. (I wouldn't mind being and ambassodor for the Dedicated members) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger Intel Posted July 7, 2014 Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 Name: Spartan Weapons: MA5C Assault Rifle and M6G Pistol Appearance: Sage Mark VI Armour Skills/Powers: Speed Bio: Only speaks if necessary or spoken to. Fights for justice and law. Follows orders. Military trained. Also trained in Martial Arts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinreaper Posted July 7, 2014 Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 Name: Twinreaper Weapons: Various Situational designed knives. Appearance: Black hooded robes with crimson accents Skill/Power: AI level intelligence. Can influence any living centient being. Bio: Borm from darkness, this fearsome unstopable force plunders and searches the forums for his next prey, the lesser intelligent. Myth says this creature cannot cannot be killed, and any apparent death simply makes him stronger. Speculation persists, he is the physical manifestation of Digital Purgatory. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ardent Prayer Posted July 7, 2014 Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) Name: Ardent Prayer Weapons: Dual Magnums and Energy Sword Appearance: Black ODST Armor with Red Visor and Red Details, Brown Hair and eyes and is about 6'1. Skills/Powers: Speed and Strength w/ Promethean Vision Bio: Family was killed in a Home Invasion as a child. Joined the UNSC as an ODST when turned 17 but quit after the war ended, and took his equipment with him. Edited July 8, 2014 by Ardent Prayer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guts Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 Name: Butch Weapon(s): M1014 and a .44 Magnum Appearance: Denim jeans, black boots and a brown shirt Skills and Powers: Can repair vehicles Bio: Left home at the age of 14 and has been living on his own since. Rarely trusts anyone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor Kenway Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 well um I guess I don't need to make a guest profile as I'm already in it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caboose The Ace Posted July 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) ^ You can if you want.... I have not said anything about these things other than your name. Name: Connor KenwayWeapon(s): (Anything. Does not need to be Halo related.)Appearance:Skills and Powers:Bio: Edited July 8, 2014 by Caboose the Ace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unease Peanut Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 Name: Unease P34nutWeapon(s): Dual M7 SMG's (Dual wield is optional) Dual wield M6C/SOCOM pistols (Dual wield is optional) Appearance: PS: The Military Police helmet is because of an event. Just imagine it to be MK V with Eternal Flames ktnxbai. Skills and Powers: Medic and a certified badass Bio: Sarcastic and an overall 'I don't give a damn' attitude. Has medical skills and always has a small med pack with him (leg). Nemesis is GSD. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Composite Armour Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 Name: Ledgend1221 Weapons: C-7 Explosives, GD-10 Rail Carbine, Harsh language. Appearance: Skills and Powers: Shooting, Demolitions, One-liners. Bio: Has a "Better then you" attitude in battle and will make a joke about anything and everything. His favourite line is "I've got a present for ya!". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caboose The Ace Posted July 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) Level 31, staff permitted area of the HubBnus stood in the large atrium that was the first level above the member permitted areas of the Hub. He wore a slick black tuxedo with a white shirt underneath. Bnus was slightly nervous to be meeting these ambassadors he hoped; he represented the forum well and made a good impression on them. Bnus then put his left hand on his collar to definitely make sure his buttons were done up on his shirt before putting his full attention back to waiting for the ambassadors. Eventually the elevator door slid open to the left of him and twenty ambassadors walked out, flanked by ten protector bots. “Ah, you must be our guide, Bnus is it?” One of the Ambassadors questioned. Bnus adopted a more professional pose and put both is hands behind his back as he spoke. “Yes” Bnus stuttered for a moment before continuing. “Yes I am Bnus and I shall be your guide for the day” One of the ambassadors walked up to him and extended his left hand. Bnus took the opportunity and shook the ambassador’s left hand with his right. “Nice to meet you Bnus, beautiful city you have here, I am Ambassador Harkin” “A pleasure to meet you Harkin” Bnus then spent the next few minutes talking to all twenty ambassadors and showing them around level 31. Level 45 of Staff permitted area of the HubRedstarocket sat in his small office on the top floor of the Hub sipping a hot cup of coffee, whilst on his computer, checking the most recent city maintenance reports on the shield generators report by the Hubs Chief engineer 343i bot. The Hub was protected by reverse engineered Forerunner ray shields making successful attacks almost impossible while the shields were up. Any ship without the proper clearance to dock in a hanger was disintegrated by the ray shields on contact. Suddenly Reds computer powered down unexpected, he checked to see if his charger was plugged in, it was. Suddenly the computer powered back up again with a picture of a scull and crossbones on appeared on the screen with the message, you are being hacked, please stand by. “What the hell?” Red scratched his head in complete confusion, seconds later his computer returned to normal. Level 31, staff permitted area of the Hub“Nice view, Halo customs has nothing like this” Ambassador Frank commented on the view from behind large glass window. “Wait till you see the top” Bnus smirked as his communicator started flashing. “Please excuse me” Bnus politely said as he walked around behind a small tree in the atrium and accepted the call. “Bnus, this is Red, I don’t want to alarm you but I suggest you get the ambassadors moving up to level 43 right now” Red could not hide the increasing panic in his voice. “What the hell is going on Red?” “I don’t know, my computer was hacked, I am just hoping to avoid putting the building on full alert, I just need to know the ambassadors are safe” Edited July 8, 2014 by Caboose the Ace 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surveillance Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) Name: HaloGeekWeapon(s): Hammer and SickleAppearance: Red Robes, yellow hammer and sickle crossed on his back.Skills and Powers: Extreme physical fitness and speed. Highest charisma of any living being(aka, can bring anyone to work together). Speaks English, Latin, and Russian. Bio: Not much is known about him, only that he comes from a strange place, where everyone is equal. He is believed to be the Living Manifestation of Communism. Edited July 8, 2014 by HaloGeek 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rrhuntington Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 Name: rrhuntington Weapon(s): Shotgun and a wrenchAppearnce: Skills and powers: Improvising, Fixing things, and being a mediator.Bio: He always knows how to fix almost anything in any situation, provided he has his trusty wrench. Upbeat and always optimistic. His job is your everyday repair man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caboose The Ace Posted July 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2014 (edited) Bnus remerged to meet the ambassadors, who were all busy chatting to one another. “May I have your attention ambassadors?” The moment he said it all the ambassadors stopped talking and looked at Bnus. “Our lead moderator Redstarocket would like me to quicken the tour, please allow me to escort you all to level 43” Bnus said as politely as he could.Suddenly a large explosion rocked the entire room and Bnus was thrown off his feet and onto the floor. He pulled himself up quickly. A large black helicopter suddenly decloaked before his eyes, its twin miniguns instantly started firing inside the atrium. “Run” Bnus shouted as he ran for his life from almost raining minigun fire. He vaulted over a bench and noticed one of the ambassadors had injured his leg, and was limping to the elevator, struggling to move. Several protector bots stormed out the many elevators in the room and opened fire at the helicopter with missiles of their own. Bnus took the opportunity of the bots attack and ran towards the ambassador, as he did; the helicopter fired a missile into the atrium... Bnus noticed the missile and doubled his pace.” Ambassador…” Bnus yelled as he threw himself onto the ambassador. The missile then hit the floor and Bnus was thrown across the room by the blast.Butch sat in Pulse, a small nightclub on level two of the Hub drinking a bottle of vodka, forgetting his troubles. He looked around; he trusted few people these days and for good reason. He didn’t want to bring those memories up, he wanted to forget them. Ardent Prayer one of his only friends sat next to him drinking a pint of beer. He trusted Ardent; he was someone he could relate to. “So,Ardent, got any interesting stories you could tell? Butch questioned. “I could use the excitement right now in this dull world” “Okay sure, I will pleasure you” Ardent chuckled as he said it. “I was tracking down this guy in the Guardia system, his name was John, I think it was anyway, this was about a year ago. I tracked him down to the city of Adina, in the sewers he was hiding in. He killed all his goons and cornered him; turns out I forgot to reload my Magnums. He attacked me with a kitchen knife and swung it around like a godamm madman, maybe he was mad, I don’t know. He swung it at me and missed, the idiot hit a steam valve. The valve blew up and steam went into his face. I grabbed the only weapon I saw, a pillow and beat him to death with that” Butch looked at Ardent with a blank expression. “I brought the corpse to my employer and claimed the credits” Butch then finished off his bottle of Vodka and ordered another one. “Take it easy Butch, you only turned twenty a month ago” Butch gave Ardent a dirty look. “Just looking out for you buddy” Ardent cheerfully said.*Unknown location*“Sir, our helicopters have started attacking the upper levels of the Hub”“Good, all is going to plan; soon we will have our revenge, Begin attack pattern Delta, take them by surprise while we still can” "Yes sir” Edited July 10, 2014 by Caboose the Ace 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger Intel Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 Hmmm, this is getting real interesting. Looking forward to seeing what happens next. He trusted Ardent; he was someone he could relate to. “So,Ardent, got any interesting stories you could tell? Butch questioned. “I could use the excitement right now in this dull world” “Okay sure, I will pleasure you” Just something I'd say to improve the structure, start a new line when someone else is speaking. Example "sdkjfnalskmdPOmgfjloei4j" he said. "lsejfhelkwjfbn;kljnfdaoi" she replied. It makes the structure more professional, as if you're reading from a book. Besides that, I'm loving it so far. Keep it up. You could also separate it into sections or chapters by number. Like Part 1, Part 2, etc. This is so people don't lose where they are if they've missed out on anything. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caboose The Ace Posted July 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 (edited) Okay then....This is a scene from the next part... ( I will get around to labelling them all. What do you think flows better ? “Here you are sir, please enjoy” The bartender handed Butch a bottle of Vodka, before walking off the serve other customers. “Don’t work Ardent, I have a certain expertise for staying sober” Butch attempted to assure Ardent. Ardent kept quiet and watched Butch start to drink well into his next bottle of Vodka. or this “Here you are sir, please enjoy” The bartender handed Butch a bottle of Vodka, before walking off the serve other customers. “Don’t work Ardent, I have a certain expertise for staying sober” Butch attempted to assure Ardent.Ardent kept quiet and watched Butch start to drink well into his next bottle of Vodka. Edited July 12, 2014 by Caboose the Ace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Composite Armour Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 Second one, much easier on the eyes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guts Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 Second part is better 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eqwinoxe Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 Name: Ewok (Yeah don't ask, just think, Twin gave me this name. Sorta fits. Lol)Weapon(s): High Powered Alien SuperRifle (6x, 12x, 20x Scope (All in One), Face Melting Fire Shot) Appearance: Very tall for his age, and with a little training, we can get him to where we need him. (Image Below)Skills and Powers: Cloak, Very Agile, Very Keen Eyesight, and the ability to hear his targets for over a mile, maybe more.Bio: Born on the planet of Exxcceter. He was always very, very intrigued in weapons of "mass destruction", making his own at age 6. (Very Intelligent, as he was born into a family of "riches", and had all the general knowledge of a philosopher.) Family abandoned him at age 10 as he wound up killing almost all of Exxcceter, and its people with it, with his very own gun he made. He was soon "dropped" on Earth, and he had a hard time adapting, as he spoke little to no language, but that didn't bother him, he was more the silent type anyway. He does what he is told, and does it with amazing "style". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-38 Boss Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 What the heck, why not? Name: BossWeapons: Stainless steel Baseball bat, .357 Colt Python (Revolver)Appearance: 6 feet tall (182 cm) 300 lbs (136 Kg) Short, messy dark brown hair, rough beard. Camo Cargo pants, a black T-shirt, and a long black Trench coat. Usually wears a Black Baseball cap.Skills and Powers: Gunslinger, can shoot lightning because I said so. Bio: No one knows how or why Boss came into existence, but if there really was a purpose, he certainty doesn't seem to care. More content spending his days drinking Mountain Dew and playing games than actually fighting; most assume he's harmless. He's not, but he just doesn't care all that much. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Is not JL Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 Okay then.... This is a scene from the next part... ( I will get around to labelling them all. What do you think flows better ? “Here you are sir, please enjoy” The bartender handed Butch a bottle of Vodka, before walking off the serve other customers. “Don’t work Ardent, I have a certain expertise for staying sober” Butch attempted to assure Ardent. Ardent kept quiet and watched Butch start to drink well into his next bottle of Vodka. or this “Here you are sir, please enjoy” The bartender handed Butch a bottle of Vodka, before walking off the serve other customers. “Don’t work Ardent, I have a certain expertise for staying sober” Butch attempted to assure Ardent. Ardent kept quiet and watched Butch start to drink well into his next bottle of Vodka. I prefer the first. That actually looks like a paragraph. If I'm gonna read anything, it's not going to be a slew of single lines separated every time by a line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemini Dragons Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 Name: Kyle Weapons:Katana, and a MP4-Rex Appearance: Pure black hair, with glowing green eyes. Lightly built in the body, he is no toothpick thats for sure. Scars up and down his chest area and legs. Wears a hoody, and baggy jeans Skills and Powers: He knows kick boxing, and is a master at sword play and weapon handling. He does parkour to keep his body in shape, so his peed is incredible, but not inhuman. Bio: He was born into a high military ranking family. He went through rigorous training every day with no breaks. At the age of ten he ran away from home to live a free life. But he ran into a lot of trouble every day. After five years, he was already well aquainted with the streets. Although nowadays he is able to provide for himself. Despite all he went through though he is a very charismatic boy and enjoys life to its fullest. He has made lots of friends over the years, but he never truly trusts anybody. Not after what he went through. Note: He is 15 years old. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eqwinoxe Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 Okay then.... This is a scene from the next part... ( I will get around to labelling them all. What do you think flows better ? “Here you are sir, please enjoy” The bartender handed Butch a bottle of Vodka, before walking off the serve other customers. “Don’t work Ardent, I have a certain expertise for staying sober” Butch attempted to assure Ardent. Ardent kept quiet and watched Butch start to drink well into his next bottle of Vodka. or this “Here you are sir, please enjoy” The bartender handed Butch a bottle of Vodka, before walking off the serve other customers. “Don’t work Ardent, I have a certain expertise for staying sober” Butch attempted to assure Ardent. Ardent kept quiet and watched Butch start to drink well into his next bottle of Vodka. What the heck, why not? Name: Boss Weapons: Stainless steel Baseball bat, .357 Colt Python (Revolver) Appearance: 6 feet tall (182 cm) 300 lbs (136 Kg) Short, messy dark brown hair, rough beard. Camo Cargo pants, a black T-shirt, and a long black Trench coat. Usually wears a Black Baseball cap. Skills and Powers: Gunslinger, can shoot lightning because I said so. Bio: No one knows how or why Boss came into existence, but if there really was a purpose, he certainty doesn't seem to care. More content spending his days drinking Mountain Dew and playing games than actually fighting; most assume he's harmless. He's not, but he just doesn't care all that much. Also, Caboose. When you say somebody "looks over" or "hands a bottle of vodka" in this case, but *hands a bottle of vodka*. It represents a character doing something, if you leave it like that, it sounds like somebody is saying it. Uhh... Boss. Dont mind that.. I don't know why it did that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger Intel Posted July 12, 2014 Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 Okay then.... This is a scene from the next part... ( I will get around to labelling them all. What do you think flows better ? “Here you are sir, please enjoy” The bartender handed Butch a bottle of Vodka, before walking off the serve other customers. “Don’t work Ardent, I have a certain expertise for staying sober” Butch attempted to assure Ardent. Ardent kept quiet and watched Butch start to drink well into his next bottle of Vodka. or this “Here you are sir, please enjoy” The bartender handed Butch a bottle of Vodka, before walking off the serve other customers. “Don’t work Ardent, I have a certain expertise for staying sober” Butch attempted to assure Ardent. Ardent kept quiet and watched Butch start to drink well into his next bottle of Vodka. The second one is what I was talking about. It looks far better and as Ledgend said, it's easier to read. It clearly shows who is saying what and flows well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gojira Posted July 14, 2014 Report Share Posted July 14, 2014 Name: Rex Kowalski Weapon(s): Two katana, a WW2 era Colt .45, Pulse Rifle Appearance: 6 feet 2 inches, 200 pounds, a muscular build, a cybernetic left arm, swept back chestnut brown hair, 5 o'clock shadow, several scars around his left eye (which tends to glow red once and awhile). Black T-shirt, worn jeans, leather jacket, and black boots. Skills and Pow.ers: Enhanced sight, hearing, strength, accuracy, endurance and durability due to cybernetic implants. Capable of coming up with great one liners, and is a master of hand to hand and weapon based combat Bio: Rex is rumoured to have once been a great cyber commando who fought in countless wars and was a highly decorated hero. Haunted by his wartime experiences and the deaths of his last friend, it is said that Rex retired from the military, hung up his weapons, changed his identity, got some facial reconstruction to hide some of his cybernetic implants, and turned to alcohol to drown his sorrows. However, his hunger for action returned and after loading up his weapons he became a mercenary. Although loyal to no nation or flag, Rex will step from the shadows and do what he must to preserve what's right, to fight evil, and to teach his opposition how cyber commandos get it done. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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