Believe

[Maestro]

Ladies and gentlemen, this has been a decision in the works for quite some time. But, I figure the best time to announce it is now.

 

I'm leaving.

 

Now you might be wondering: "But why, Maestro? Where will you go?" Well, university is looming around the corner. I'm off to get another piece of laminated paper that says "I are smrt". That isn't the only reason.... but first, some expository banter! A look under the hood at the methods to Maestro's madness, if you will.

 

After I graduated from high school two years ago, I had no idea what I wanted to do; so I got a job after that summer to save some cash in the hopes that I wouldn't end up (or at least stave off) being a starving university student. Off to work I went!

Enter Halo 4. I also took up forging somewhat seriously once it was released. Shortly after, work stunk. My manager and I rarely saw eye-to-eye, in more ways than the fact that she literally had to look up at me. She was a for a lack of better emoticons. The girl I had liked since grade nine moved away and things didn't end on a positive note; I wanted to get out of there. I still had no idea what I wanted to do, and chose to stick around for another year.

Enter 343iCF, a place of fun and Halo and the stomping grounds of forgeries. What could be better? If I'm going to stay at home for another year, I might as well enjoy it.

Aside from this community, things looked bleak. I got transferred to a department that was foreign to me at work. I traded a horrible boss for mundane and seemingly pointless tasks. I found myself asking "What's the point?" It's the kind of place where managers commend you for your work when it's a blue moon out and all of the planets align, yet are swift to punish you if you do something as insignificant as put a paper clip back in the wrong spot. The money was irrelevant; it felt like my time was being wasted. Depression and nihilism took over.

 

The freaky thing about depression is that you can never tell who has it. Those who have it tend to bottle it up; a recent example is Robin Williams... who would have guessed with his happy-go-lucky demeanor?

Did it ever occur to anyone here that I had it too? I fought with depression last summer, up until the middle of April this year. I had a pointless job, I had been rejected from university, and staying for a third year would have driven me insane. It would have been complete and utter hell.

 

 

I contemplated suicide. Not just once.

 

But like the stoic I am, I bottled it up. I didn't want to drag anyone down with me. I was hurting inside. I felt like I was alone in my plight; I didn't want anyone else to be hurt too. You guys are the first people I've ever told about this.

 

 

A glimmer of hope appeared: another university accepted me. I was ecstatic! My days in this town were numbered! Things were looking up at last! I had cast aside any depression lingering within, and worked with a renewed vigour. I became more active here, and became friends with quite a few of you. I hosted events. I was happy again, and I wanted to share it with the community that had welcomed and accepted me with open arms.

As move-in day approached, I thought about my bout with depression... why I had it, what I could do to prevent it from coming back, and what I could do to help others who were still fighting their inner demons. It occurred to me that if I had taken my own life, I would devastate the lives of my loved ones.

If you have depression, I urge you not to give in: your life will turn around! Things always get worse before they get better; it's always darkest before dawn. Even if you feel you are alone in this world, you will leave a lot more pain in your absence if you take your own life. Think not only of yourself, but of others who care about you and love you! Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You have the power to improve your life, but you also have the power of your friends and family to help you! You are not alone.

 

I've had a lot of fun during my time here. I've made quite a few new friends; the community as a whole has helped me through some tough times. As move-in day approaches, I can't help but feel there's a distinct lack of... unity. There's a severed bond somewhere. I can't quite figure out where, or why I get this vibe. I guess it's because I knew I'd be leaving soon. Like the stoic I am, I didn't want to get attached to you guys. Too late for that, I suppose.

 

As of September, I'll be gone. But not permanently, like I had considered some time ago. It'll be a temporary goodbye to a community that I want to permanently be a part of.

 

Live long and Lenny.

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

^ clicky clicky

 

 

You may shed your manly (womanly if you aren't a dude) tears now.

 

Edited August 25, 2014 by Maestro

[I_Make_Big_Boom]

 I don't know what to say...

 

From my brief outside perspective (as in interaction with you here, and on XBL) it was hard to see that you had gone through some terrible things (which I am myself a victim of). I'm truly sorry to hear you contemplated those thoughts. :c

 

But your future looks bright and optimistic now. I hope you not only reach your goals (whatever they may be), but in time surpass them!

 

When (or if) you decide to make a trek back to the good old 343i... we will be waiting wholeheartedly. c:

 

 

I think this man deserves a round of applause!!

 

 

Long live Lenny! Long live Maestro! ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[rrhuntington]

Good luck at University Partna'. Goodbye Flipside. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Edited August 25, 2014 by rrhuntington

[Mr Biggles]

While we never got to know each other properly, I always saw you around.

It is sad to see any member go, but with your dedication and usefulness, it will be an extra shame.

[Caboose The Ace]

We now lose another forum Ledged....

 

 

Good Maestero.... May the spirit of the great Shrek guide you on your quest.

[Guts]

I would never have picked that up in a million years. Its sad to see another brilliant member go. Farewell Maestro.

[Helix Amell]

First what I want to say Maestro is that you are a very clever, excellent role model for the forums and a darn well good USF President !

Alot of people will miss you, I will be one of those people.Keep trying hard to succeed, don't give up my friend. Just do us proud when you return.

 

A thumbs up from me

 

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[Unease Peanut]

 

I...I don't know what to say honestly...

You were and still are a great member and I'm sad to see you leave. Nonetheless, good luck on your future endeavours!

Hope to see you return one day

[HIWBC]

And so it is time, time to see another great member on this website leave. I'm really sorry that you had thoughts about doing those bad, bad things to yourself. I honestly would never have guessed that you suffered from depression majorly, and as you are one of the most awesome members on the forums it is very sad to see you go Maestro (woah look I just rhymed lol .). You're going to be missed by a lot of members on this website, especially here in the forums. We all hope that you'll return soon and do the forums proud when you do come back, best of luck for the future, especially with university I hope that all turns out well !

 

Goodbye Maestro ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

[Drizzy_Dan]

Maestro you were one of my favorite members since you were a new blood. I'm glad we got to share the laughs and times between me, you, Ledgend, and others over time. I hope you come back soon or stop in from time to time. You'll be missed buddy.

 

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[Composite Armour]

I am a man of few words, so I all can say is goodbye and best of luck with your journey. If you ever need someone to have your head you filthy nord, then you know where we'll be.

 

Of all the souls I have encountered on my travels....yours was the most...human.

[BeckoningZebra1]

I'll miss seeing you around Maestro. I remember waiting for you to shed the purple and become dedicated in the shout box, then when you finally did, the shout box burst into excitement! Great member here, hope to see you return sooner rather than later.

[Sadly Just AL]

Maestro... My Maestro.

 

It is sad to see you go.... Your forge work was wonderful and so were your events. You're one of extremely few members that I wish I had gotten to know better than I have over the time I spent here. I'm gonna miss you to bits... Even your giant Lenny nose.

 

But you know what they say, it's not ogre.

 

 

It's never ogre.

[Ardent Prayer]

Maestro nuuuu. ;-; Anyway, you're were a great member since the beginning and a fun person play Halo with. It'll be weird not seeing your various faces in the Forums anymore. Hope to see you again C:

 

-See you starside.

[Connor Kenway]

wow Maestro where to start? I didn't overly talk to you on here I did when I was green and that was awesome but man when it came to the playdates it was so awesome with you it'll be sad to see you go and I may have slight depression (who would have guessed) and you were one of the reasons I wanted to get Dedicated lol because all the people I knew as Trusted became Dedicated.

 

goodbye Maestro.

[Maestro]

 

 

 

It's because of things like this that I don't want to leave... when I saw all of these acts and these kind words, I nearly turned into a bawling mess of feels. But I knew the tears welling up were not of sorrow... they were of joy. I never realized how much I'm loved here. As I get ready to start a new chapter in my life, as zero hour approaches, I won't forget you guys.

 

 

Thank you all. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edited August 28, 2014 by Maestro

[VinWarrior]

believe feels part 1.png

 

believe feels part 2.png

 

believe feels part 3.png

 

It's because of things like this that I don't want to leave... when I saw all of these acts and these kind words, I nearly turned into a bawling mess of feels. But I knew the tears welling up were not of sorrow... they were of joy. I never realized how much I'm loved here. As I get ready to start a new chapter in my life, as

approaches, I won't forget you guys.

 

 

Thank you all. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

I had no clue you left... WELL DAMMIT I WAS PRETTY HAPPY WITH DESTINY COMING UP BUT THERE THAT HAPPINESS GOES.

[D-38 Boss]

DANG IT!

 

NOW THERE'S ONE LESS OTHER TRIGUN FAN AROUND HERE!

 

Seriously though, I feel you, I hope everything works out, and You'd better come on back REAL soon now.

 

[Akali]

No Maestro

 

Well the good thing is about all of this is that it's not permanent :')

 

Well I guess this is goodbye Maestro. You nor Lenny will never be forgotten.

 

LONG LIVE MAESTRO! LONG LIVE LENNY!

[Buns]

I apologize I am not very good with goodbyes. 

 

 

I want to make an extremely long post on what a wonderful member you have been Maestro and how many times I've used you as an example of what a member should be.

 

You're not only filled with good discussion, but with great creative ideas as well. From your ambitious multi-ending game Tangents, to Halo Gear Solid. I wish we had the chance to talk more about the creative process.

 

Thank you so much for your help in TGFW and all the ideas you put to the table. Thank you again for the fun gametypes you provided as well. I hope we get the chance to play Halo Gear Solid when the MCC comes around at glorious 1080p <3

 

 

As of September, I'll be gone. But not permanently, like I had considered some time ago. It'll be a temporary goodbye to a community that I want to permanently be a part of.

 

 

See you at the mission end screen Maestro. This better not be the last time we talk.

[ShockGazm]

I wish you the best of luck on your endeavors! <3 Peace out... for now.

[Yoshi1176]

I didn't see this thread till today and you may not see this post but, you were a great friend, member and Co-President.

 

I will miss all of the old man jokes and the Lenny's that I hate so much. Everyone has their problems and you are deciding to face them and that is good. Remember, you've got a friend in me. Good luck in life man!