Caboose The Ace Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 (edited) Santa has existed for hundreds of years but a few things don't add up so allow me to fill in the gaps. 1 How does Santa have a near infinite supply of Elves? Explanation: That is a good question, when you think about it, at first glace it makes no sense. Santa and his Elves are isolationists expect when Christmas eve begins. So being isolationists, Santas Elves would only have so much genetic diversity. Lets say you locked 200 people in a house for 500 years. You have them enough food and water to last for 1000 years. You come back 200 years later and they are all dead, why? Because to breed you need genetic diversity. If you slowly run out of it. ( Like Sanatas Elves are ) eventually it becomes difficult to produce babies. So right now an Elven baby is very rare. So how does Santa get more Elves? His naughty and nice list is how he does it. If you are naughty he drags you into his sack and takes you back to his Hq in the North pole. He and his "Elves" then indoctrinate you to make you think you are an elf! 2 Fun fact Santa pays his "Elves" nothing and imprisons them if they refuse to make more toys. He works them tirelessly with most dying within a month. 3 Who is Santa and what is his agenda? Santa is a robot sent to Earth by evil aliens to indoctrinate the children of earth! Santa gives you gifts, yes. But when you get those gifts they slowly make you greedy. 90 percent of recent wars were caused by Santa. Obama, Putin Kim, all those guys and more are puppets controlled by Santa! How did Santa get his reindeer? Reindeer used to a renegade group of Elves trying to take down Santa. Santa captured them and tortured them. In return for their lives he made them into reindeer they shall be his thralls for all eternity. Edited December 7, 2014 by Caboose The Ace 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delpen9 Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 Why does Santa yell, "Ho! Ho! Ho!?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caboose The Ace Posted December 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 ^ Good question. Explanation: As I posted earlier Santa is a robot made by evil Aliens who wish to control Earth. Ho, Ho in the Aliens language means Death to all humans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Composite Armour Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 There's no such thing as elves anymore. They all lost their jobs and eventually died when Santa started outsourcing his toy manufacturing to Chinese factories. And when Santa says "Ho ho ho", what he means is...well, let's leave it at that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maestro Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 That rock over there told me that it didn't authorize you to make this thread. Get back to cleaning the Imperial Palace! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caboose The Ace Posted December 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 ^ I don't listen to Scrubs like you! Besides this is my Empire and I am its Emperor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akali Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 (edited) This thread is... Interesting... Anyway. Why is it Reindeer? Why not Leopard or Tigers or Eagles? Edited December 7, 2014 by Yang Xiao Long Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delpen9 Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 Why aren't the sleds on Santa's sleigh candy canes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoshi1176 Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 Why does Santa come through my window and steal my stuff every year 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rrhuntington Posted December 8, 2014 Report Share Posted December 8, 2014 If your going to make a robot, why make it fat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankenzer Posted December 9, 2014 Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 Why the does santa wear red? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Composite Armour Posted December 9, 2014 Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 Why the does santa wear red? Because of his sponsorship by Coca Cola. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankenzer Posted December 10, 2014 Report Share Posted December 10, 2014 Because of his sponsorship by Coca Cola. So Coca Cola works with aliens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Composite Armour Posted December 10, 2014 Report Share Posted December 10, 2014 (edited) So Coca Cola works with aliens? There's no aliens. Don't listen to Caboose. Yeah whatever censor. I can censor random words too you know. Edited December 10, 2014 by Ledgend1221 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankenzer Posted December 10, 2014 Report Share Posted December 10, 2014 I should've known Caboose was lying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caboose The Ace Posted December 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2014 I don't lie my information comes from a very credited source. A renegade elf by the name of Trawn who used to be in Santa's inner circle. Coca cola does not work with aliens Coca cola is an Alien! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rrhuntington Posted December 10, 2014 Report Share Posted December 10, 2014 Coca cola is an Alien! hue hue hue, Tasty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BerriesBoo Posted December 10, 2014 Report Share Posted December 10, 2014 This isn't true what caboose said. Santa makes presents for every child in the world and gives presents to children all over the world! This is why It's christmas, but It is Jesus' birthday as well. >_> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caboose The Ace Posted December 11, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2014 (edited) Jesus was a scout sent by Aliens to observe humanity. ^ ( Besides believe it or not Jesus was a real person, and he was not born on Dec 25th he was born sometime in summer ) ( and yes im not atheist not a Christian ) Santa gives presents to children to corrupt them with greed. Edited December 11, 2014 by Caboose The Ace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fishy Posted December 12, 2014 Report Share Posted December 12, 2014 Hey guys, let's not get religion involved. Because we all know Santa is in the Greek mythology of the Aztec culture from the Hindu religion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rrhuntington Posted December 12, 2014 Report Share Posted December 12, 2014 Question: Why do these Aliens sound so useless? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.