Essay

[Silent Orbis]

Here's an essay I did for school. It's quite a long read, but I worked so hard, I figured why not post it?Discussions on the subject are highly encouraged, and so is feedback. Remember, everyone to their own opinion. Please do enjoy.

 

Could Our Society Become Like The One in Gattaca?

     

     After Gattaca premiered in theaters in 1997, it left many wondering one thing: “Could our society end up like this”? This movie proposes a science-fiction perspective on many issues in a near-future where people’s social statuses would revolve around their DNA. This movie also shows what it would be like if people had the ability to genetically engineer babies to born perfectly. The answer to the question is most likely that it will not happen. In scientific principle, genetically engineering a human could not happen to the extent of Gattaca, while even in a practical sense it could not be something integrated into the social aspects of life and as something that people would choose to do.

               

     In principle, genetically engineering a human could not happen the way it is in Gattaca. The furthest humans have gone is with preimplantation genetic diagnosis; this is the ability to prevent disease before a child is born, and has yet to be implemented (Stanković). That fact that humanity is barely skimming the possibility of PGD, would mean that it could take possibly decades to successfully implement. The step further would be handcrafting humans before they are even born, which is what Gattaca proposed as the “near-future” back in 1997 (Gattaca). 18 years later, humans have not even integrated PGD into society, which means that it would take even longer to implement designer-babies. One might argue that Gattaca proposes just a future, and it is not restricted to any time period even if it did say “near” future (Gattaca). “Near” refers to foreseeable future, however (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). So, as humans have not factually attempted to predict or foreshadow what will happen past the 21^st century, and as it has been proven that designer-babies will not be reality until at least multiple decades, in conclusion: designer babies as conceptualized in Gattaca are most likely not scientifically possible.

               

     The other issue is the practicality and possible integration into society of something like designer babies. The majority of Americans (over 80%) have stated that reproductive cloning or genetically engineering babies should be illegal (Nisbet, 8 ). Therefore, one can infer that society would not be accepting of selectively designing offspring on the DNA level before birth even happens; as it was portrayed otherwise in Gattaca. Another perspective to look at this from would be the cloning of animals. As the University of Utah puts it, “the success rate ranges from 0.1 percent to 3 percent, which means that for every 1000 tries, only one to 30 clones are made” (What are the Risks of Cloning?). This means that as animals have been tested on, it is extremely rare and unpredictable to have a successful genetically engineered product. The absolute highest it has been out of every 1000 has been 30 clones, which means that expecting 30 is having maximally high expectations. The opposition -- on the other hand – will say that because humans and animals have different brains and structures, it is not valid to connect the two (Schleifer). However, the American Medical Association says different: “Because of experience with animal clones, it is reasonable to conclude that future human cloning experiments will have the same high failure rates” (Human Cloning). From what is shown, one can derive that the methods of genetic engineering portrayed in Gattaca, would not work, and would not be accepted by society, thus proving that it would not be practical.

               

     To conclude, Gattaca as a work of science-fiction, has a very slim chance of becoming the reality in society for the generations of today, and the generations of the future. Scientifically speaking, it is not possible. Socially and in practice, it is not possible either. The scientific invention or discovery has not yet been confirmed with concrete support, but if there was a scientific possibility, the social factors would not allow it. Even if science said it can happen, there is no confirmation that humanity would. This does not nullify the fact that there will always be room for other innovations and discoveries in the future of science and technology.

 

 

Works Cited

Gattaca. Dir. Andrew Niccol. Perf. Ethan Hawke, Uma Thurman, and Jude Law. DVD. Columbia Pictures Industries, 1997.

 

Stanković, Braitslov. "JOLT: Articles." JOLT: Articles. UCLA, 2005. Web. 11 Mar. 2015. <http://www.lawtechjournal.com/articles/2005/03_050713_stankovic.php>.

 

"foreseeable." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, 2015. Web. 11 Mar. 2015.

 

"What Are the Risks of Cloning?" Learn.Genetics. University of Utah, n.d. Web. 11 Mar. 2015.

                <http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/cloning/cloningrisks/>.

 

"Human Cloning." American Medical Association. American Medical Association, n.d. Web. 11 Mar. 2015. <http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/physician-resources/medical-science/genetics-molecular-medicine/related-policy-topics/stem-cell-research/human-cloning.page>.

 

Schleifer, Bradford G. "Human Mind vs. Animal Brain – Why So Different?" The Real Truth. The Real Truth, n.d. Web. 11 Mar. 2015. <http://realtruth.org/articles/090806-002-science.html>.

 

Nisbet, Matthew. Public Opinion About Stem Cell Research and Human Cloning. Washington D.C.: American University, 19 May 2014. PDF.

 

[Melody]

Looks fine with me. I think it's a good Essay, It looks great.

[depressant]

Sounds great. Good concrete sentences with good information and nice vocabulary. Great nob Orbis. :yay:

[Fishy]

     

 

 

 This movie also shows what it would be like if people had the ability to genetically engineer babies to born perfectly. 

 

*Be born perfectly.

               

 

 

The answer to the question is most likely that it will not happen. In scientific principle, genetically engineering a human could not happen to the extent of Gattaca, while even in a practical sense it could not be something integrated into the social aspects of life and as something that people would choose to do.

 

 

You should say "The chance of this happening is improbable."

 

Your second sentence was hard for me to read and understand thoroughly.

 

 

 

    That fact that humanity is barely skimming the possibility of PGD, would mean that it could take possibly decades to successfully implement.

 

*The fact

It's not a grammatically correct sentence.

 

 

 

 

The step further would be handcrafting humans before they are even born, which is what Gattaca proposed as the “near-future” back in 1997 (Gattaca).

 

Don't ever say, "Before they are even born." Just simply say, "Before they are born." It just sounds better and it makes you look like you know what you're talking about.

 

 

 

“Near” refers to foreseeable future, however (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).

 

However.... However what? You put a conjunction then a period. No need to do that, if you want to propose where you got that information, just simply put the period after "Future" and your citing for the information just needs to go in parentheses. You don't need to include that in a period unless it's in the title.

 

 

 

So, as humans have not factually attempted to predict or foreshadow what will happen past the 21^st century, and as it has been proven that designer-babies will not be reality until at least multiple decades, in conclusion: designer babies as conceptualized in Gattaca are most likely not scientifically possible.

You keep using "Most likely" try using synonyms. Synonyms.com  is a great website to use for those. This is simply because the audience and teachers do not like repitition. It will also help you out when you write essay's later in life, as well as papers.

               

 

 

    The other issue is the practicality and possible integration into society of something like designer babies.

You know, I'm not sure if you get annoyed about this, but whenever somebody keeps saying the word "Like" in a sentence. You get the urge to want to do something to shut them up, you're annoyed. You should keep calm on using the word "Like" try using synonyms that combine what you're saying and with an example.

 

 

 

 

The opposition -- on the other hand – will say that because humans and animals have different brains and structures, it is not valid to connect the two (Schleifer).

 

Don't use Dashes ( - ) when using Conjunctive Adverbs, instead use a Semicolon ( ; ) before the Conjunctive Adverb, then a comma afterwords. In this sentence you need to eliminate "On the other hand," you just don't need it. The sentence makes sense without it.

 

               

 

 

    To conclude, Gattaca as a work of science-fiction, has a very slim chance of becoming the reality in society for the generations of today, and the generations of the future.

You should have Gattaca placed before the comma, instead of after it.

 

 

 

 

Socially and in practice, it is not possible either.

This entire sentence just needs eliminated, in my opinion. It serves no purpose besides a repeated answer of the previous sentence, except stated differently.

 

 

 

 

 

I hope my feedback helps you out Orbis! Was a great read though, I enjoyed it myself.

[Yoshi1176]

Watch out for plagiarism! If it's here anyone can take it.

[Vaulting♥Frog]

Just a few short notes. I dont really want to break down your essay as it is yours. The mistakes are yours to make but still I will help just a bit.

 

First off, do not ever end your essay with "In conclusion". It is about as middle school a paper can get any most any professor worth their salt will dock you for it severely.

 

Secondly, break up your paragraphs a bit. You have information in there that warrents its own paragraph. While it might relate to the specific point you are arguing at that moment it tends to become too congested. By breaking up your paragraphs you help increase the length of your essay while providing the reader ease of use.

 

Last but certainly not least, expand a bit more on each of your sources. Dont leave it at a sentence or two. Use your own words to explain what each of those pieces means for the reader and how they relate to your topic. This allows you to get better detail in your essay.

 

Thats all the help I will give you. I try to let people stand and fall on their own but, well sometimes a little advice doesnt hurt.

[Silent Orbis]

Well, Fishy thank you for the feedback. And Vaulting Frog, you too. The thing is that this is probably my third or fourth essay I've done, so it's not the best. I try though. The problem is that we have a certain layout we have to follow with some stupid standards. If it was a creative essay, I probably would've put what you're saying into practice, Frog. But it just restricts what tremendous content there is into 4-5 paragraph, which obviously doesn't work too smoothly.  Fishy, thanks for the grammar checks. That first one was actually a typo. I feel like most of the issues were technically things that could work in basic English, but would not help get my point across clearly and thoroughly. What you're suggesting were things that could've probably helped my paper tremendously. But thanks guys. The next one will definitely use your advice.