Jump to content

I love Hello Kitty.


Recommended Posts

Greetings. I know why you're here. Do you know why you're here? Are you sure? I'll explain lucidly just to get you up to speed... in case you're not entirely sure why you're here (seriously, if you don't know why you're here then why the hell are you continuing to read?? Escape while you still can).

 

 

1: You're here because of Hello Kitty. Don't even deny it.

 

2: You're expecting me to write a 400 word essay on why I love Hello Kitty... in due time.

 

3: You like amusement at my expense.

 

4: Raisins.

 

 

Now lets begin.

 

 

I love Hello Kitty for a few raisins. Firstly, it's because I adore her cute fluffy coat. But I love her coat more when it's soaked in the blood of hundreds of human sacrific- I just love her coat. I'm blushing just thinking about it.

 

Secondly, I love those eyes. Those eyes: they absorb all light, and swirl about like a boiling black cauldron of death. Even a single glimpse lets you peer into Hello Kitty's inner abyss to see her amorphous demonic soul constricting the life out of newly consumed victims. Her glare could rend the flesh off of a... let's just say her eyes are mighty fine. They perty.

 

Thirdly (yes, Thirdly), I love Hello Kitty because this particular forum will be graced by her presence even more so than now. Soon we shall receive an idol to worship underneath a... we're getting a Hello Kitty award. You don't know how grateful I am for this. I love her. We all do. Now she'll be able to love us all the time... by watching us... all the time... with that expressionless face of hers... just so we don't mess up... and not love her... so cuddly, and cute.

 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read through this glorious sermon. All hail Hello Kitty. She nice 'n stuff.

 

IiVwwOw.png

Edited by Self Destruct
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As General of the USF, I order a complete shutdown and security sweep plus investigation of Hello Kitty.

Threats such as this have imposed even more than spambots. As General, I am in charge of the removal and extinguishing of any threats to the forums. All who have been mesmerized by their sheer power, shall be cleansed and decontaminated. All who oppose will be decontaminated or shot. Please, see yourself throughly overlooked if you have encountered any of these "Hello Kitty's" as such threats are not a joke. We will handle them personally to ensure your safety.

 

Keep safe boys and girls. I'm on it.

This has been issued as a Code: Pink

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...