Fire Posted November 17, 2011 Report Share Posted November 17, 2011 Hey Everyone, just a couple quick notices 1. This is my first halo-fiction so keep that in mind 2. i want your HONEST opinion 3. if i have a grammar mistake or a spelling error, let me know 4. I need an editor to see how most of it sounds! NOTICE: Due to the length of this ever-growing work, I am uploading it to Google Docs. Please leave a comment or even better a review . Prologue Chapter I Chapter II Special Thanks to Halo Wikia- helped with the dates and canon tweaks The 343industries.org for just being awesome Bungie and Microsoft and 343i for giving me a nice sandbox to use Absolute Dog for helping me edit Brony for letting be borrow a couple lines __________________________________________________________________ Halo and the Halo Universe are the respective property of Microsoft and it's trademarks This story is the solo work of Ian Bossler and belongs to said person along with 343industries.org 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Posted November 17, 2011 Report Share Posted November 17, 2011 Not even in her worst nightmares had she expected this, something that she could not have been prepared for.** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BraverKING514 Posted November 17, 2011 Report Share Posted November 17, 2011 That was great. You should write the next few Halo books. I am blown away. That was incredible :unworthy: Boring? This is great. Don't be down on yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graveminddead97 Posted November 17, 2011 Report Share Posted November 17, 2011 That was good. You should be a writer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Posted November 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 gah, thanks guys, annoying how my formatting is lost, might upload as a .pdf FEEL FREE TO DROP IDEAS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heinzkompf Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 right the next few Halo books. I wouldn't say that if I were you. Just sayin'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Posted November 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 yeah that is ironic, "you are the worlds best speeler Braverking" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BraverKING514 Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 yeah that is ironic, "you are the worlds best speeler Braverking" Nice.... speeler... Something I would do. It is true. I can't spell at all. And getting on at 10pm doesn't help either. Maybe I should have payed attention in English class.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamF1sh Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 cool, I'm guessing this is augmentation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 It's a really good intro, really gives you the feel for the characters. I like it a lot(: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Posted November 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 yes this is augmentation process, cassandra is one of the damaged spartans. I already have a plot cooking in my head, even in the actualy canon Cassandra and chief had a thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurt S-501 Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 That was great! You really have a talent for writing. I look forward to the next part! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperIntendant Posted November 20, 2011 Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 I like it, if it isn't pinned, it should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Posted November 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 thanks everyone! (it is pinned btw!) I really need an editor and some pre-readers too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TH3 R34P3R 97 Posted November 20, 2011 Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 borring Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Posted November 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 well uh.. thanks for trying? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father B Posted November 20, 2011 Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 Good stuff, Fire. Well done, with a little room yet for improvement. I'd love to be your editor, but I'd need an actual computer instead of this iPhail. I have to say that the augmentation processes have always been a point of interest for me. The medical science behind it, while a bit farfetched, always tickled my fancy. It only got more interesting with Chrysanthemum and the SPARTAN-III's. All in all, I look forward to more about John, Cassandra, and her unique skin condition. Jokes. But serious, I likey. Keep it coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Posted November 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 Thanks, my goal is stay within the canon lines. Cassandra was great because- 1. she is still alive as far as we know 2. she was damaged but was almost done healing after halo 1 3. her and John had a thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archon Posted November 20, 2011 Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 It's Spartan Augmentations. S-II. Interesting, choice of words was... good. Paragraphs. Decent sizes. Honestly though. MC has Brown hair, and Brown eyes. And he liked fighting... wasn't a very talkative, nice or person who smiled a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Posted November 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 I know, this is me trying to give him a more human side, and i know it said he had brown hair when he was abducted (6) but i thought maybe it mighta changed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Posted November 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 11/20-finished editing prolouge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iTz Termineted Posted November 20, 2011 Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 really cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Sorry I've been busy guys, FUN FACT! i typed MOST of this on my ipod! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father B Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 I know, this is me trying to give him a more human side, and i know it said he had brown hair when he was abducted (6) but i thought maybe it mighta changed. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. And it's a fanfic, after all. Fanfic writers may try to stay the course, but sometimes deviations must be made for the sake of our own tales. Sorry I've been busy guys, FUN FACT! i typed MOST of this on my ipod! I've had to do all my writing on my iPhail 4. So I can appreciate what you've done there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Posted November 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 thanks father, yeah i don't even remember writing that anyway XD, i was probably tired, i'll change it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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