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Doc's Diagnosis - Whats my illness


DoctorB77

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Please tell me all of the symptoms you have.

 

I will provide you with a certain disease/disorder and provide possible options to your illness.

 

(Don't give actual problems, make up fun stuff)

 

 

 

I am now prepared to write like a doctor (horribly)

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Dr doctor, i have a horrible conditions, i must find the cure....some reason i have being growing wings and claws...it happens at night, please help me!

 

It seems that you have a rare condition of vampirism which can be classified as pigeonistic mutation. You are turning into a giant bird at night.

 

I suggest that you don't ever let it be night. Do this by constantly getting on planes and flying where the sun goes. This will make it so this will not happen anymore.

 

Also. I want to know what you got bit by in Australia that gave you this illness.

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doc theres something on the side of my neck, at first i didnt take much notice to it but it got bigger and its telling me to burn things.

 

You are showing signs of having a psyco depressed boil. People get depressed because nobody likes them. However even though people like you they don't like your face. The boil on your neck is just the first stage. You will soon form another on your forehead that will offer you matches.

 

You can avoid this by having your mother kiss the boil every once in a while to make it feel loved

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i have an uncontrollable urge to dance and i tend to do the hustle alot, what wrong with me?

 

You have crazy legs. This disease is caused not by actions by the victim but by the male parent. Your father probably at one point in time was bitten by a person infected with this virus. It was passed on from him to you. So I would make sure that you do not bite people. I suggest that you brake your legs and have to be in a wheelchair.

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I get a primal urge to watch re-runs of Jersey Shore at nights. Dear god please help me, it's awful.

 

Doc, I've got this one.

 

@One, I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're suffering from a deadly disease called being a total d-bag. I'm afraid the best solution is to end it. Seriously. Do it.

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Doc, every time I play Halo something happens to my face. I look like this when I play it:

 

forever-alone.jpg?w=839

 

What is this Doc, Please help ?!?

 

You are just playing by yourself. I suggest that you play big team to try and make sure your team doesn't quit on you due to how dissapointing you are at the game.

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I get a primal urge to watch re-runs of Jersey Shore at nights. Dear god please help me, it's awful.

 

To solve this send me your coordinates and I will send in a missle strike on your current position.

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I have 4 eyes, HELP MEH!

 

You are turning into a spider. To fix this you just need to eat 5 pounds of insects. This will satisfy your spider like tendicies and make your cycle reverse. If you continue to eat bugs you will gain the ability to shoot webs like spider man. This however will not give you the oppertunity to appear in the avengers.

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I don't have any arms or legs and yet i am still able to type this wtf is going on!?!??!

 

I also have a shark fin and the head of a goat. Was it something i ate?

 

Please help.

 

You were exposed to radiation my friend. You are able to use your powers to type and you will be able to fly in a few moths. There is no cure to this but you will obtain the following abilities.

 

Telekinetic powers

Fly

See in the dark

Breath under water

 

Since you have no ligiments you will have to fly. Until then you sit tight and eat some grass.

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Doc, I've got this one.

 

@One, I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're suffering from a deadly disease called being a total d-bag. I'm afraid the best solution is to end it. Seriously. Do it.

 

Lol.

 

 

Also I apologize for double posting multiple times. I am on mobile and I can't quote multiple people at a time.

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Im not posting anymore, i just cant get into it, whats wrong?!

 

You are just getting tired. You are on too much and this causes you to get bored.

 

You need to go outside. Go play with a giant spider or something.

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