halo story

[Vitamin Pwn]

i thought i'd pst this for anyone who wanted to read the 5 word halo story but didnt want to go through all the pages.

page 1

As the dawn of a new era began, master chief wondered where his pink underwear went And why was cortana suddenly out of the kitchen, when she clearly didnt have any grunty thirst or orders from Captain Keyes to initiate a complete overhaul of the kitchen. The Arbiter got an idea why the hell am I in a complete overhauled kitchen? Make me a sammich Cortana

or better still what about my good friends the elites. The problem with that is they were out of bread So they went down to earth, to buy some bread

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but then they found the store was out of bread. So the elites asked someone exactly what is bread? Furthermore they also wanted some cheddar when suddenly out of no ware Pikachu appeared with a wet loaf of bread and made ash's mom make him a toasted cheese sandwich, however master Johnson decided that he would make a fudge sundae pie. suddenly out of the blue sky, a funny forerunner appeared wondering where the hell allthe other forerunners have stayed during the grand premiere of the 343 industries community forum. all that made me hungry so i made a call

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for some fresh food nipples, hang on a minute, what is actually fresh nipple food? Suddenly Master Chief felt all asleep with the nipple food Suddenly a brute appeared wearing a food nipple on his nubbin, but that didnt rub his rubbin rub, so he tuged his rug, in order of an bright, huge explosion unfortuantely the fuse went sofast he didn't have time to wack his gravity hammer So he decided to shake the brute by the balls after he shaked his balls he washed his hands then he went to a party where he dressed up as

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a crazy, funny shufflin guy wearing a grass skirt and cool sunglasses without the glasses. Master Chief started feeling tipsy until he learned the shufflinhe started shufflin with Cortana then the whole party shuffled Until Sgt.Johnson requested barbie girl, Chief threw him out and party started the shufflin again But the Chief banned shufflin and then he was sad because he banned the shufflin Until Sgt.Johnson requested barbie girl chief threw him out and party started the shufflin again But the Chief banned shufflin and then he was sad because he banned the shufflin so he allowed it again when, all of a sudden He saw Arbiter shuffling Cortana, so he called up six, who brought with him a Song about shuffling so everyone did the truffle shuffle until

[Vitamin Pwn]

page 5

his neighbor called the cops Luckily there was a nappy Moa at the party who Found it funny to pee On the cop while he was getting off of his bike. but he was followed by a big fat man who happened to have a Map of Reach showing him all restaurants that serve tasty Moa Burgers, which taste like sweaty socks, so later that night,chief decided to go to Hooters and eat some nachos which then turned into a mind boggling thing called the awesome fresh food nipples turns out it was roofies mixed with some propane pills

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meanwhile, back at the ranch Cortana was worrying about the Elites nasty rash and was gonna get help, but then the doorbell went, and guess who it was? It was Sgt. Johnson, he wanted to sneak roofies into Chief's drink But Chief already had some crayons that he used to color in Halo:CEA for better Viewing, however 343 had other plans for the roofies which involved a tiger and two Packets of peanuts, suddenly they Ate the peanuts with some ultimate roofies made from used crayons that kat used to color the shattered dreams of the armor lock haterz when suddenly

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Kat was sniped by a giant pink kryptonite from Superman returns, but then realized that it was actually Robin in the invisible jet with batman Back on the planet, Keyes When two squirrels suddenly exploded all because hot dogs are Hawt dawgs and pancakes are really Brutes that have been hibernating in the dough of.crazy guys dressed as forerunners meanwhile the chief started to think up an idea for orphan elites and how he save them from the flood's evil plan to turn off production of all food nipples Somehow, nipples played on his Xbox distracted the flood,

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making Gunnery Sergeant Buck a super human as he ate some radioactive rocky mountain oysters from The belly of a squirrel. The noob from call duty decided that he would try a game of halo reach he boosted his way to Inheritor but was banned andhad his testicles removed by someone in Armor lock who decided the time was right to try mountain oysters with spinach pate and a side Jackal hair soup seasoned with Jackal hair soup seasoned with the dead skin flakes of the brainy flood carrier form. that had infected a large pink elephant, which had a

[Vitamin Pwn]

page 9

hired camo sniper which killed A monkey that was shufflin and dancing to the beat It shuffled so much thathis feet got to hurtin' so it had to stop and walk, not run to the excessive party rockin people Suddenly, the infected pink elephant, reunited with the monkey, decided to shuffle the whole night. The prophets heard the shuffling "the prophets heard the shuffling"And arose from bed where They said "Where are my limited edition copies of 'Egomaniac Ezio Auditore on its back to chasing that damn monkey."

 

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He shot it and thought Maybe that monkey was soSmall it was a grunt who finally pinned this storyOn a really cool forum where mods are so cool.and everyone is so awesome John is the best though! Vitamin pwn is awesomeness though but cortana is still the one who loves Dog most, jester was upset by this so Dog convinced her to give jester a chance to he is just as worthy if a little balding but to bask in her love Then she wanted John more than a horse in summer she ran calling "Wildfire" while

 

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punching random donkeys in the Kneecap, whilst singing about a brute who was named scruffy Suddenly scruffy appeared with a hoard of hideous, ill tempered Flamingos who had forgotten what human flesh tastes like, so Found their cookery books and started boiling water for a Lovely casserole. They decided to make a side dish of Human toes with garlic mayonnaise mixed with toad stomach and human eyeballs covered in blood and for desert had a big fat hairy human stomach. After the beautiful meal, Carter stuffed with artichokes and red Chillis which everyone enjoyed except Rango, because he was too

 

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To Manley for that stuff After that beautiful meal, Carter went up to kat and asked her if he could use her arm as a backscratcher, but Kat said that here was no way, so He pulled out his massive Gravity hammer, and he used it to whack her unconscious. Then jun came in and helped Carter take off the glorious reflective blue and black mechanical apendage to scratch both their backs, but then the Emile came in with avery small and very smelly polecat that actually resembled Tartan. His polecat took the arm

[Vitamin Pwn]

page 13

and peed on it quickly so anybody who touches it will disintegrate on first contact1 of the huge unintellectual brute who was named Uncle bob When the Sun finally rose Jorge came in and was angry at uncle bob because Uncle bob finally admitted to eating all of the chips Which he had stockpiled insidehis great big stomach that covered with a large tatoo So the brute gained a an extra arm from jorge and he used it to crack his nuts, walnuts, into a very luxurious defeated snack At this same time Noble6

 

page 14

and with them Master cheif Decided to sing a song about bunny rabbits and kittensdont forget the mighty rainbow and that poor miserable monkey his own deep red blood But still he missed being that free spirited little monkey Tickled like a glorious rainbow Wearing a sock on his head, like a hat that made him like Double Dee made him look much better than wearing the pelt of rat fur and grunt droppings but that was only the what he wore on his Was sneaking into Kat's room with his massive weapon poised

 

page15

he pounced on the first grunt wearing stockings and pink gloves, which made him look

like a thing from the thing in that one thing with the other thing and the big thing shuffled a a thing into that thing that had another thing with blue things which looked like those green things that chief and hardly anything to do with the missing cod piece and was like wtf angle but cortona ignored it and gave chief his big and gianormous thingy majigger that has its own grenade launcher attachment and he ate a donut covered with brute pubes and

 

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sweat. Next chief thought about how to play Halo 4 he picked up a controller poped in his halo four and he started to play! he wanted to tell us all about the great game! but as he was headed for Belgium, he had to get past the security and sneak halo4 to super john! Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far away, the percursors were about to shoot the king of a race known as the grunts. These grunts were not actually grunts, but miniature Hershey kisses sent to kill the queen of chocolate whowas going to marry the

[Vitamin Pwn]

page 17

the gingerbread man on Harvest As the Hershey kisses were sticky, yet still he found grunt king was a jackal with an enormous beard which caused him to trip on it and activated halo, the floor started breaking apart when Master Cheif came in and saved everyone that was there. Soon the Gravemind found Cheif and in a second the flood realised that they had little time to pack, so they left behind gravemind who was annoyed as theytook all of his favorite socks, so now they had less time to complete the jigsaw they started yesterday so

 

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the Gravemind teleported Cheif to they just got into the the awsomemobile and met babes Who worshipped the covenant, so much that they had a purple symbol on their forehead and their very own big custimised wraith. But one day it brokedown and the garage

shut on them and they

blew up a little gruntwho was the son of Quinhip, who was the first person to run across Onyxbare foot in the summer while skipping and singing the song luvurfr3nz by princeton, and dancing to Maccaron Chaccaron with a bowl full of chilly. meanwhile, six was alone wondering

 

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where Kat's big and amazing Rocket launcher was at so He could scratch his thigh but instead he found a gravity hammer and as he brought the stick towards him he realised he had left his helmet with his old boots and now they smelt Fermented poop all because ofthe arbiter and his bad case of gingivitis so he went to the stores to get himself some extra strength but all they had was a nice cold glass of pumpkin juice, so the Chief decided on dr peppers but all they had was pepsi But as holidays were coming

 

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he decided to go to paraguay and search for hidden treasure. He brought his shovel but forgot his pickaxe so he decided to use a dirty nappy, which proved very successful when he was doing aerobic exercises, and then he went to make a protein shake which had some side effects like shotgun diarrhea and friggatriskaidekaphobia So he went to see Cortana for some pills that electric pills that would enable His farts to leave his Hand, meanwhile on planet Drakon two elites were wondering? why wouldnt our moms let us play Halo Reach on the xbox, when the rookie falls

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page 21

into a big old moldy silo full of peach flavored tennisballs used for the covenant's machine that turns calculators into milkshakes, yet still Chief didnt understand why the covenant needed tennisballs. He thought that maybe their mom, the arbiter had confused them with plasma grenades and went into a rage with all caps and was eaten by monkeys who were making coffee with the fear of 1000 souls standing in a mud pit while defending themselves from the flood who want to eat the elites who tried to make some delicious moa burgers while being bitten by

[Vitamin Pwn]

RESERVED FOR FUTURE USE!!!