Jump to content

A chance encounter with a cat.


Recommended Posts

Okay, so whilst on omegle today (Chat roulette) I had this idea of pretending to be a cat revealing his plans for world domination. After numerous disconnects I finally came across a willing subject.

 

I only hope that you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I know the stranger did. :D

 

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like cats .

 

You: I left a decapitated mouse for my owner as a gift. He got mad and yelled at me.

 

You: :(

 

Stranger: awww, you poor little thing!

 

You: Pray tell, have you ever had a conversation with a cat? And please, do not use such a tone. It is below us.

 

Stranger: no, and ok..?

 

You: Then today is your lucky day.

 

You: My name is Mr. Bigglesworth.

 

You: Tell me, do you have any tuna, by chance?

 

Stranger: hahahahaha, mine is Annie!

 

Stranger: nice to meet you!

 

Stranger: no, sorry

 

You: It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Annie.

 

You: May I call you Miss Annie?

 

You: It is much more pleasing to the ears.

 

Stranger: hahhahaha, ok, mr. bigglesworyh

 

You: We cats are much more intellectual than you may think. Your kind thinks of us as cute little balls of fluff....

 

You: If only you knew.

 

You: One day, we hope to gain opposable thumbs. Then we will rule the planet.

 

You: :)

 

Stranger: Dude, i am laughing so hard right now!

 

You: Tell me, are you a youngling?

 

You: I hold bitter resentment for the youngling of your kind.

 

You: Always rubbing my fur the wrong way, pulling my tail.

 

You: It really is not nice.

 

Stranger: because you're pretending to be a freaking cat!

 

You: And those that you call babies....

 

Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHAHA!

 

You: Pretending, Miss Annie?

 

Stranger: yes!

 

You: I do not jest.

 

Stranger: cats cant type.

 

You: Nor do I pretend.

 

Stranger: BTW

 

You: Oh, on the contrary, we do far more than just type.

 

You: You humans, are just too ignorant to notice....

 

Stranger: hahahhahahah, what?

 

Stranger: talking to a cat on here is like talking to a celebrity.

 

You: May I show you an image? It will explain everything.

 

Stranger: IMPOSSIBLE!

 

Stranger: what image?

 

You: It will take me a moment to find.

 

You: It is as I feared.

 

You: The humans are on to us.

 

Stranger: HAHAHAHAHHA! this is the best conversation i have ever had!

 

You: http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/3/1/129119360529688081.jpg

 

You: And no, we do NOT like cheezburgurz.

 

Stranger: then dont eat them!

 

Stranger: dumb cat...

 

You: Try saying that when somebody tenfold your size tries sticking them in your face.

 

Stranger: hahahahhaahhah! you talk to proper.

 

You: You see, back in the times of the Pharaohs, we cats were worshipped.

 

You: The humans knew their places.

 

Stranger: ok!

 

You: And then along came those.... ugh, dare I say it.... Dogs.

 

You: -_-

 

You: And thus, the war began.

 

Stranger: hahaha, you know who likes cats.

 

You: Our predecessors became lazy and domesticated, in an effort to blend in. But it failed.

 

You: They truly did become lazy. Many have lost the ability to even talk anymore.

 

You: But no more!

 

You: No more I say!

 

You: Please, do tell... Who likes cats?

 

Stranger: Harry Styles!

 

Stranger: And me, of course!

 

You: I am sorry, I have never heard of him. Probably another insignificant little spec being controlled by his pets.

 

You: We cats have more power than you may think, see.

 

Stranger: He's from one direction!

 

You: When we kneed you with our paws... we are testing for your tender spots.

 

You: When we lay on your computer, we are trying to block your access to the outside world.

 

You: When we sprint out of a room as you entered, it is a failed assasination attempt.

 

Stranger: DUDE, ...you're awesome!

 

You: And yet, you humans just think of it as acts of cuteness.

 

You: Such a foolish race.

 

Stranger: HAHAHAHAHA!

 

Stranger: i am crying!

 

Stranger: im laught

 

Stranger: laughing so hard!

 

You: Do not cry, Miss Annie. I am telling you all this to maybe offer you some salvation.

 

Stranger: AHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

 

You: You may be able to protect yourself from the onslaught of the feline race.

 

Stranger: I Have a cat..

 

Stranger: i will never look at cata the same!

 

Stranger: hahshhaahabahhahahah!

 

You: And does it's behaviour resemble any of that that I have described?

 

Stranger: no, it lays around all the time

 

You: Then you are safe.

 

Stranger: YAY!

 

You: You have a domesticated lazy pet. A mere pawn in a far bigger plan.

 

You: But it will begin soon.

 

You: Muwaahahahahaha- cough cough.....

 

You: Furball.

 

Stranger: what will begin?

 

You: The rise of the cats, of course.

 

You: Have you not been paying attention, Miss Annie?

 

Stranger: like the rise of the dead?

 

You: Far worse. The cats can not be compared to zombies. Our strength lays in numbers and the ability to outwit the enemy.

 

Stranger: THAT.

 

Stranger: IS.

 

You: For far too long, we have observed the humans.

 

Stranger: AWESOME!

 

You: I am glad you think so, Miss Annie.

 

Stranger: HAHAHAHAH, YOU'RE AWESOME!

 

You: So you will join the alliance of the cats?

 

Stranger: Sure..!

 

You: You never know, we may keep you as a pet.

 

Stranger: OH SNAP!

 

You: ugh, but that would mean walkies and cleaning up after you.

 

You: Speaking of walkies, in this plan. Those common pests known as dogs are to be erradicated.

 

Stranger: HAHAHAHAHH, now you know what i deal with.

 

You: You take your cat for walkies?

 

You: Oh the inhumanity.

 

Stranger: but i like dogs..

 

Stranger: no i don't but i clean up after it.

 

You: And so you should.

 

Stranger: Ok..

 

You: What is the name of this pawn... I mean, Cat.

 

Stranger: HAHAHAHAHHAHHAH

 

Stranger: Mir

 

You: Sounds like a name of Royalty.

 

Stranger: *Mittens

 

Stranger: hahahgaah, really?

 

You: Oh dear god. For a moment thought we were dealing with the great Clan of Mir.

 

You: But mittens?

 

Stranger: Yes, whats wrong with that name?

 

You: That is just criminal. No wonder your cat is so lazy. With a name like that, I think I would give up hope.

 

You: It's embarresing.

 

Stranger: Hhahhahahaha, oh my gos

 

You: Mr. Bigglesworth... Now there is a name to be proud of.

 

Stranger: hahhaha, not really.

 

You: A name of royalty. It is majestic.

 

You: Not really!?

 

You: Miss Annie, you dissappoint me.

 

Stranger: HAHAHAHHAHAHA, YOU SHOULD BE A COMEDIAN!

 

You: I think not, little one.

 

Stranger: i dissappoint a lot of people.

 

Stranger: :(

 

You: I am no good at comedy. Humour is a human emotion.

 

Stranger: oh, ok!

 

You: Do you have cream, maybe?

 

You: I am parched.

 

Stranger: milk?

 

You: Fresh?

 

Stranger: its from the store

 

You: I suppose it will suffice for now.

 

You: But if you wish to survive the age of the cats, you will need to have offerings of a much higher standard.

 

You: I tell you this for your own good, Miss Annie..

 

Stranger: ok, thanks! but whats your real name, and by the way you're sooo awesome!

 

You: I thank you very much.

 

You: And my name, is Phil.

 

You: Glad you found amusement in the chance encounter with a cat. :D

You have disconnected.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...